PAINS OF A GROWN MAN

FINAL EPISODE



"But you know Dad, God has ever been faithful and he has never stopped showering his grace on us" I said with a cruel face mixed with chuckles as I stared at my Dad. I needed the right time to burst out and just get clarity of the whole thing. I was actually wounded and bitter at his insolence to us his family. You don't expect me to go through that letter and remain calm. All these while, balls of sweat never stopped forming on my face and streamed down to my chin. My Mom kept asking if I was okay and stressed. She asked me to have enough rest and need be to excuse myself from the table I should do so. I feigned I needed not all that. And then I quickly thought. Maybe I would ask him privately about it. That would be better and save him the embarrassment especially before his grandchild.

But you know, sometimes you can't cheat time travel. No matter how smart you are. If indeed you're as clever as a tortoise, nature can't be cheated.
But there and then was nature ready to pull out a game. It was about to outclass us. It was right there my Mom asked me about Regina whom she saw me with about three or four years ago and asked if I was really into her. I gave her the affirmative and she asked further why I haven't done the needful. I smiled and looked at Dad.

"Well, that's because I don't think I am ready to manage two families".
My dad was staring at me like what's going on.

Everyone wondered too by what I meant. And they asked me to elaborate more. Then I looked at David. Felt sorry in me for him and never planned it. But the truth needed to be told and heard. Assumptions is the lowest form of knowledge. So in other to be cleared I asked Dad

"How does it feel managing two families? Knowing that your attention will be divided and your heart is split?". At that moment I asked the question, I felt cold. Maybe a sign of sudden hatred or regret. I wouldn't have known.

"Dear what is he talking about?" Mom asked with a squeezed face. Almost depleting.

"You're stressed my son. You need enough rest and that will be..." I cut him off with tears in my eyes.

"Well, things are about to get serious now". Joe said with rapt attention and gaze fixed on me.
"Come on Dad! You know exactly what I am taking about" he denied knowing anything and I brought out the brown envelope. Slipped it across the table to him and he got shocked. He looked me straight in my eyes before steadily giving everyone a gaze in his usual slow motion that stopped on my mom's.

"Beatrice" he started slowly with sweats formed on him like he was drowned in a pool.

"But how did you find out about this? And this has nothing to do with you. So you have been going everywhere searching for what's not lost?" He summoned the dutch courage and talked back at me. Fear gripped me at his utterance and I was guilty.

"Jay" as she fondly called him. "You were about saying something. Yeah! I am all ears". She balanced her chin on her palms. There was silence as he shoved his glasses at interval from his nose back to his eyes which was sliding away due to the sweats. He kept reading what was in his hands. That scene wasn't funny. I saw a different side of my father. The brave one and the feeble one. I didn't understand which one I needed to settle for.

"I was going to talk about this at the right time" he folded the envelope with his head bowed. Everyone had lost appetite obviously but our miniature man at the table was still fiddling with plates and cutleries. I kept on giving him gaze and thankfully he got hold of his dad's phone and he remembered there used to be a bicycle by the waterside. That was how he ran off. I think that was enough for my father to have summoned courage as he exposed everything.

"I have a child and a woman outside, Beatrice". The laughter that bursted out of my mom's mouth was contagious. It caught Joe immediately and I could tell it was infested.

Really? I thought. Laughing at a big confession was the right thing to do? "Look I am serious here. But that was a long time ago" he stammered.

"A long time ago doesn't mean it has been erased off history or from the book of memories. Well, you better start talking now and I will appreciate you don't miss a thing out of it" Now those were enough subtle threats from the drama queen herself.

Dad explained in his words it happened when he was transferred to Ghana. He met with a lady who was his chaperon in his first few days there. She happened to work there also and he being the tall and handsome guy, he was everyone's choice. He recalled how she would come to his house to cook and teach him some Ghanian dance steps. He became fond of her a lot and he would never go a day without calling her. No matter how hectic the day was, he would put a call through. On several occasions they would go to the beach and have some time to themselves. It appeared as though, she was God sent. He finally made up his mind after years of been together with her and stepped up his game. He defined their relationship on one of those days she came around to lay his bed. He couldn't resist and flee.
Months later she came back to tell him she was a month and three weeks pregnant and they quickly fixed a date for their wedding. At first, the sensation and feelings everyday felt like a new beginning. Not until few months into their marriage she tendered her resignation letter. He was shocked and surprised and asked her why she didn't tell him before doing that. At least they've been living together as man and wife and for such an enormous decision, she should have respected that he's still her husband. He told her she can't go just like that. Her response was she's not only leaving the company but also leaving him for good. No back up and solid reason for that. He had never maltreated her not for a second. Then she came back after few months with a divorce litigation. He lost the case and he filed to have custody of his child. He failed too. And that has been bitter in his heart for a very long time.

He begged and asked we forgive him. Not that he wouldn't tell us, but it wasn't something to be proud of. He has no joy in telling it. He felt maybe by his bed side; on his journey out of the world, he would reveal but I guess the dining was actually the bed side he referred to. He was still begging when my mom stood up angrily with tears. Where she went to, I don't know. Joe followed her. I remained at the table with him and we kept on stealing glances at ourselves.

"So I have an older brother" I said out finally. As unbelievable as it sounds, it was the bitter pill I would swallow effortlessly. I still couldn't imagine I emanated from a polygamous family. This has been the pains he's inflicted on himself. He never knew she was really not after the marriage or his love.

But as our Lord forgives us, so we should forgive ourselves and brethren that have erred us. It's complicated.

"I am sorry Dad. I shouldn't have said it out at all. Or brought it open at the table". He nodded at me.

"Anytime is the right time. I am sorry too". We hugged each other and went on the search hunt for my mum. The pains he had to face to have a gathered and put family. Then I knew it isn't easy to be a man. And it's not a day Job.

PEAZOUT



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PAINS OF A GROWN MAN

EPISODE TWO

I walked down with mixed feelings. On my way to Senior baritone's, I could hear "this isn't my knicker. Mine isn't as new like this". Should I stop and check or just continue. I recorded their bed space in my head and if I forget, I would just playback.

"Where's my balance?" Senior baritone asked.

"Your balance?" I stood trembling like a wet chicken.

I explained to him I had used it to buy sachet water.

"How much is now a sachet and going by your claims, why am I seeing just two sachet here?".

Under the cold and heavy downpour, I was sweating. What got me very scared was the manner and way he rose from his bed. I knew I was doomed. Matrix slow motions were nothing compared to his and my mind raced to my dad. The same thing he would do when he's angry.

"How do I explain now? How many explanations will I give before it will get sunk into his head? What can I do to calm him down?"

Different thoughts in my head. Probably I would give him my own money. But he would think I was lying. That wouldn't have been possible in the first place because I don't keep monies with me. They are always with my guardian. He finished his slow motion and sat right across me. I knew he was looking at me but my head was bent firmly.

He cleared his throat and I fretted again.

"He is about to talk. Listen carefully" one guy in my head said.

"You see ehn, that two hundred naira is my last change and I don't know how you're going to go about the remaining balance. All I want is my" he paused.

"In short ehn, I no need the balance." He pushed forward the cassava flour and sugar and asked me to bring the two hundred naira to him. Failure to do so attracts me to serve him for days. There I was still kneeling after he's dismissed me.

Three years later I left the school and went to reside with my parents outside the country. I couldn't cope any longer with the animal treatment we the juniors were inflicted with. It was as though a continuous trend that I would do that to my younger ones but that trait wasn't imbibed in me.

I heaved a very heavy sigh as I walked through the store. Gave me memories of times I ran through looking for nothing in particular. The old big black discs, boots and the scents that emanated from the books stacked like it was meant for generations afterwards. Slowly I paced about the store and I saw another surprising thing.
A brownish envelope sealed tightly and as I picked it to check, it obviously showed it hadn't been open ever. Slowly and gently as I wondered, I saw a cupboard opened. A huge black crawling thing moved out quickly. That was a mice. I adjusted myself and prepared the enveloped folded out like I was a minister addressing the Nation on Power.
I read through and I never imagined that I could shed tears. I couldn't believe what I read neither could I phantom if it were true or not. And he never said anything about it. He played his tricks well and what was in my hands clear fact of what seems like a trend almost passing unto me too. That makes my suspicions right. I braced myself and went into the living room where everyone was merrymaking and celebrating.
We had come together as we do annually. Thanksgiving.

It was on a Friday and we would be leaving for the States on Monday. I walked in to the living room and headed straight for the dining table.

"Hey Marcus, where have you been? We've looked everywhere for you. What happened? You looked stressed". My dad joyfully said and before I walked in, they had enough jokes to go round.
Balls of sweats formed on my face and I quickly wiped it off. But they kept coming and I excused myself to change into a more lighter dress. I returned back to the dining and right on time the turkey was about to be served.

"Tell me brother Marcus, how has the promotion been? I am sorry I haven't really had time to extend greetings formally". Joe my younger brother said as he cuts.

"I know right? We are in different states and I am very much aware how hectic work has been for you too. Let's just say the promotion has sweet and enticing also has it own headaches". I munched a carrot.

"You see I was just like you son" dad pointed his fork towards me. "I worked my whole life here in New York. Maybe not my whole life but I spent my reputable years of service here before I was transferred out." He laughed.

"I was taken out of this coast to the African continent. I was told to go and head a newly opened branch in Ghana. Tema to be precised."

"Wasn't that where you met momma? I remember she made mention of that one time she told me a story of where love can be found" Joe said with a side chuckle.

"Love indeed" I uttered with seriousness on my face.

"You're right my boy. I am very certain she did justice to that story your mother told you. The good thing is she came into my life at a point where I had lost everything except the breathe of life"

"Whoa!" Joe's son, David who had been quiet suddenly exclaimed. I had even forgotten he was right there at the table with us. His wife Rebecca had to attend to an urgent and private meeting so she couldn't come along with him to the thanksgiving. Excuse well justified. She even called while we we and she made sure she greeted everyone and expressed her apologies again. Coming next thanksgiving would be more like an ignorant attitude so she promised to come visit Dad and Mom by the following Saturday.




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PAINS OF A GROWN MAN

EPISODE ONE

"Dear me, I want to grow to achieve a whole lot. I have just begun another phase of life and I have less than six years to choose the ending. Either with success or otherwise. I am really enjoying this phase of my life. Less troubles. I mean I am no longer at home running errands. I am not cruel for being happy but at least it would make my legs grow thinner so I can be tall enough".
I sat dumbfounded with smiles partly as I reminisced about the letter.

This was the letter I wrote several years ago on gaining admission to junior secondary school. The experience was magnificent. Well that was good enough to have thought as I was still a newbie and having spent less than three weeks, I believe I am justified for writing that. Then, the whole boarding life stories I have heard never happened and I assumed everything was superstitions to scare the feeble like me. I remember the first time I was called by a senior in my dormitory and was sent on an errand, I was happy and fulfilled doing it. Probably he was too tired to go outside because the journey to the gate is so discouraging you would almost feel like your bed space should be situated there.
I came back and gave to him what he had sent me. On turning my back, I heard a sound like a whistle and "hey" accompanied.

"Go and get me fifty naira sugar with a hundred naira cassava flour. And when returning, stop at mummy Jessica to buy sachet water". That baritone voice would never make me doubt or think twice of giving a No as an answer or say "I was just returning from there please send another". Besides, the joy was still there burning very eloquently.

I got to mummy Jessica's and there I remembered I didn't ask how much sachet water I needed to buy. I assumed with that amount of cassava flour and sugar, he would need enough water. So I used the balance to get sachet water. Jogging made it easier for me to reach the hostel faster. I cheated the sun and never really felt any rise in temperature. I got to his bed space and didn't meet him there. Ordinarily, I knew I would wait to avoid telling stories that will tickle the nose. Ten minutes gone and the clouds are gathering. I looked outside the window and it was getting darker. I quickly dropped the contents in my hands and rushed outside to the cloth line. Everyone was panicking and so was I.

"Who took my panties?" I heard that from the girls' hostel blocks away. I laughed and wondered if the person was conscious of what she uttered out.

"All she need to do is to ask people now. Probably a sister's keeper had helped her". I thought out loud. In minutes, I was left alone and I could see my remaining clothes on the line. But something was very odd. I remembered I had spread my sport wears; both pairs. Also with my three pairs of uniform and five pairs of socks. I had each uniform for a day alongside my socks.
I stood there for minutes trying to figure out what happened. My two shorts were missing and a pair of socks. I couldn't unravel what exactly to do. It was then I remembered the cry of the agonized lady from the female hostel. Then I began to laugh uncontrollably. Everything happened within a flash and it looked like I was just alone in the world. I laughed continuously not minding the bitter clouds that had formed and was ready to bless the grounds.

"But how do I go about this?" I thought after gaining momentum of myself. I searched my bag to be sure maybe I had loss of memory for that time. "I washed it this morning" was the new anthem on my lips. I kept on staring and looking at the people entering and moving out. Those with clothes, I stopped them to ask and search too. But it happened no one was with it. I sat on my bed looking into thin space wondering what next to do. I know for sure I can't tell my Uncle's wife. But of my Uncle; I can. But before he gives me, he would scold and tell my mum. So that option was left out.

I sat helplessly with my hands behind me on the bed like that of a tent support. My head bowed and I felt a tap on my shoulder.



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