What Legacy Do You Want For Yourself?

My Dad and I have so much striking resemblance. Of the same height, his voice, humor and reasoning. I could remember when I was much younger, he sent me to a micro finance bank to collect something on his behalf. He gave me this small starcoms mobile as a way of reaching me and assurance that I met the right woman. On getting there, I asked for the name on the paper which I held and in few minutes, she was brought forward to attend to me. Immediately she saw me, she asked "Are you baba's son?".
That's what he's fondly called. I affirmed her and while she was saying she needed no person to tell her who I was, he called me. Asking if I had gotten there and seen the person.

There are several instances of how people excite about my striking resemblance. And I know it's not just in look. His character also I photocopied.

However, there's something that demeans us. Find out below.

My mum was talking to myself and my sibling. She wondered why we didn't study Electrical engineering and why we didn't even do anything like geography. He also joined her and said he wished we did that because he wanted to be a pilot. But due to his parent's financial status, he couldn't so he settled for that course as a profession. That's what I call LEGACY. He wanted us to keep that as a legacy and why? So he can be proud of us and we can also keep the family's name soaring high.
You ever wonder why your father as a Doctor wants you to study Medicine and become a famous surgeon? You wonder why your Mother as a lawyer wants you to study and become the CJN of the country? Every parent want his/her child to supersede them in every way but at the same want them to do what they've done.
If you don't do sciences, you must work in a bank. And if you don't do any of those three, you become a lawyer. Anything asides those, is just a waste of time.

It's not that our parents are just trying to be flexible. The thing is go to school and be educated so you can rise amongst your peers. Right now; it's talents that's selling fast like hot cakes. You see lot's of people venturing into media and entertainment. Both gospel and circular.

What's totally different between my Dad and I is our ZEAL. Yeah our zeal and drive for things is just almost opposite. My dad is into a particular type of farming in large scale. And to be honest, I'm not really into that. Me that I don't like stress at all. I just love to do my own thing. Of recent, my Mum sat me down and asked why don't you be like your father? I was shocked to stupor when she said that.
I asked her why she had that question thrown at me. She said she doesn't see my zeal towards that at all. She expects me to be up and down with that. My dad can do anything. Absolutely anything. He does the plumbing, wiring, carpentry works, mechanical duties, gardening. Name them.

If there's any wiring fault at home and he isn't around, my mum would just be murmuring cos she knows I won't even near it at all. Since the day I got two wires sparked before me and got flung by them, I've sworn that anything wiring is not my thing. Even if I'm in an over all.

The question now is WHAT LEGACY DO YOU WANT TO KEEP? I see Teenagers and Youths' into ungodly activities. Even families into the wrong things. You may think the children ain't seeing and watching you. The day they would try or say any darn thing before you, you would be surprised. You know, every wife beater watches his dad do same thing. A man just doesn't wake up one day and lay his hands on a woman. It's something he has lived with and watched and feels it's just the right thing. A man shouts on his wife right in front of the children. A man comes home late and give the silliest excuse ever. Even add drinking to it. A lady grows up tomorrow and wants to dress to slay. Why? Cos it's something she sees her mother do too. She wants to buy every aso ebi and attend every party not even minding whether she's gate crashing or not. She's lived with it over the years.

Tomorrow, I would want to venture into that particular farming my Dad is into. Why? Because it's something good. It's yielding good profits. Regardless of the stress whatsoever, I am venturing into it.

My take on this is; look before you leap. Think of not now but of tomorrow. Your kids and children are your future whether you like it or not. Be careful what you decide to do and what not to do.

Be wise!!!

WHAT?!!!

WHAT?!!
That's avery common shocking statement ever used. Or should I say the statement we can't do without in less than 3 hours?

You can actually say WHAT?!! In different facial expressions. Either with your mouth closed, widely opened, hands on mouth, hands twilred together, hands shoved in pockets. So many countless ways to express.

Why would you say WHAT?!!
It can be as a result of how happy you are or dissapointed. It is used interrogatively to inquire or request for a specific information. The moment you say WHAT?!! The other party knows you're interested in that conversation. What's is its twin?

The next words jumping outside your mouth is HOW? WHEN? WHERE? WHY?

I'm not teaching you grammar but relaying something here. Let me get to the topic before the discussion. That simple four letter words can coast you a lot. And it can also earn you a lot. The most important thing is be careful of what you do after that.

Your action says a whole lot. Even if you don't say a word, your body speaks too.

PEAZOUT!!!

Addiction - What Measures To be Taken?

For the fact that you see people move out there and go about their daily business doesn't mean everything is actually fine. I wear a handsome face and she wears a pretty smile accompanied with good make up and body physique doesn't mean she's absolutely a million percent the best.
No man is born without the intentions not to commit sin. Neither was any man born with the whole of knowledge on how to go about things beyond the physical control.

The worst thing that can ever happen to you is to commit and let your conscience keep haunting you. It's more like you've killed yourself and your conscience keeps saying "you're the killer. I'm coming for you. Why would you take me?"
If you're a lover of horror films, you will understand what I'm talking about. When you begin to feel in such a distasteful state of mind, oppression begin to set in. Frustration will lead your way beyond your human capacity.

Addiction is one thing that is not born with a man but a man gets it through crazy contamination.

What's ADDICTION?

Addiction is the state of being ENSLAVED to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Addiction is compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming
substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly.

Now, this is my favorite definition of the addiction.

Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of
control and causing problems for themselves and others.

However, most addictive behavior is not related to either
physical tolerance or exposure to cues. People
compulsively use drugs, gamble, or shop nearly always in
reaction to being emotionally stressed, whether or not
they have a physical addiction. Since these psychologically
based addictions are not based on drug or brain effects,
they can account for why people frequently switch
addictive actions from one drug to a completely different
kind of drug, or even to a non-drug behavior. The focus of
the addiction isn't what matters; it's the need to take
action under certain kinds of stress. Treating this kind of
addiction requires an understanding of how it works
psychologically.
When referring to any kind of addiction, it is important to
recognize that its cause is not simply a search for pleasure
and that addiction has nothing to do with one's morality or
strength of character.

The funny thing about addiction is; it has several siblings and cohorts. From different neighborhood. There are several forms of addiction.

Addiction can be:

Alcoholism.
Drug addiction which can be cocaine, heroin, marijuana, nicotine, tobacco, street drugs.
Food addiction.
Gambling addiction.
Internet addiction.
Prescription drugs addiction.
Sex addiction(prostituition, masturbation, pornography, gay, lesbianism)
Shopping addiction.
Work addiction.

When people are addicted to anything either good or bad, they are unable to control their actions or make rational decisions about their behavior, even in the face of negative consequences.
The good thing is every addiction can be turned away from. Some even say to adopt an habit, it takes 3 weeks. Some says 3 months. Different speculations everywhere.

Alcohol and drug addiction is one major addiction people battle with and also the most sought and talked about. But there are several and multiple addictions. For instance the sex. Sex not just between the man and woman but within one's self.

Let me hit you with this. I use to indulge in something. Romantic novels. I'm a reader. And I can go as far as anywhere to get anything to read in as much as I'm exercising my mind and eyes. It got to a stage I was in my usual inquisitive attitude and I stormed upon a novel; more like a magazine. The front page got me attracted and that's how I started venturing into it. It was all about sex, romance and all you can think of. Believe me, from that moment I started looking for romance novels. And you know when the devil wants to punish you more, you begin to see "relevant" things everywhere. Each book store I step into, I see romance novels. I so much indulged in that. And it led to another thing. At that moment I thought everything was right and just cool. On the other hand one little fire in me was countering everything. And I knew within myself that I was doing something bad. After reading the stuff, I begin to over imagine what's not. I usually go wild with my imaginations. And this led to another thing.

But thank God I'm way past that.

For I know I'm now no longer of the world and now alive in Christ. Old things are passed away all things made new.

I must tell you! It isn't any way easy to come off any form of addiction. I'm a living witness and that's why I can talk about it here.


Firstly, what you need is self determination. Once you have made up your mind, that's when more tribulations will arise. Things you didn't even know concerning that addiction will arise and you will begin to see more reason why you shouldn't drop that addiction. Self determination in the sense that you sleep every night and you just imagine. What if I don't wake up the next morning. What if I don't see the next daylight? What will my extradition be like?
Once you can identify that the addiction is wrong, doing more harm than good and in no way helping you grow spiritually, then you've set the right pace for the next move.

Secondly, you need to watch out the way you do things. Your friends. Negativity. You don't need friends with negativity and YES! If cutting them off will make you achieve what you want to do, let it be. It's better for you to be made whole and let them wonder how tremendous you've been able to desist from that. You might be a king pin in that act but when they see your motive and how handsome and beautiful you are. They will come back to you and ask "How did you do it?"

Thirdly, the right motivation. Yes! This was what I can say helped me off that habit. I met someone few years back and with the way I look at such person, I suddenly felt God brought her my way to cure me of that. Though she doesn't know yet and I know when she's reading this,.. Well!
Her life and way of life was so amazing I started asking myself. Look at her as a wife. Would you want to continue such act when you're married? My answer was NO!
If you can't control any act before marriage, how sure are you it can be a thing of the past while in marriage?
Her drive and positivity is way beyond my imagination and ever since then I can boldly speak up and say this is what I've been able to achieve right from that time. Spiritually!!

Without God nothing can be done. We will just keep wallowing in the mud. Everything we do will just be a waste. Prayer works and nobody can't say it's fake. Even the atheist can say they don't have a guiding spirit. God loves us all and even in our evil deeds, he's still there. He's only quiet waiting for us to realize our fault. He won't stop sending someone to you, speaking to you through signs, dreams and any way you can.

You can add your way of getting out of an addiction and maybe your own addiction.

With God everything is possible!

DASSALL

PEAZOUT!!!

How Do You build Your Teen's Identity?

Social pressures are more pervasive and destructive than ever before in American history. Parents often feel helpless to equip their teens with the tools to navigate – and steer clear – of harmful relationships, attitudes and behaviors.

Ideally, the process of equipping our kids to live and thrive in an often Christian-hostile world begins as soon as they are born. In fact, parents are the single most important developmental influence in a child's life, apart from the Holy Spirit himself. But even if time has slipped away, and your teenager seems out of reach, you can begin to lay building blocks to help your teen grow to maturity in Christ and make a positive impact on his or her world. Love, commitment, self-discipline, perseverance and a lot of prayer are required, but you can do it.

Assisting your teen in forging a strong, positive identity is one way to help her form convictions based on truth, and then stand firm in them regardless of what everyone else does.

As parents, we can build our teen's identity by using a brick mason's approach. Masonry is an art that requires intense study of the project's design before setting the first brick in place. The job is messy, requires hands-on application and commitment.

Parental brick-layers labor alongside our teens as they experience the joy of discovering their significance in Christ and their identity. Teens today are overscheduled and often lack the skills to communicate or set boundaries. They need our help to decide which bricks fit and which ones don't.

The challenge? To encourage them to be who God made them to be, rather than who we want them to be.

Brick-by-brick, we can make a difference for our teens and in their world.
Brick #1: Encourage Self Discovery

My husband Derek shared a devotion about integrity with our fourteen-year-old son Justin and his friend Tim* (name changed). Derek asked them, "How committed are you to integrity?"

"I'm not that committed. But I want to be," Tim answered.

Derek said, "Telling the truth is integrity. Thanks for being honest."

"I get in trouble with certain friends," Tim said. "The pressure to be liked affects me."

"Until you decide who you are," Derek told Tim, "you will be like a chameleon, blending in to whatever situation or whoever you are with."

Derek mentioned a former game show and said, "Will the real Tim please stand up? Until you figure out who the God-designed Tim is, you will struggle with your friends."
Brick #2: Acknowledge Natural Abilities

Teens yearn for our support and relationship. It's important to affirm their natural abilities. Be their cheerleader. Attend activities even if they say, "It's no biggie."

Encourage athletes to stay involved in sports throughout high school. Challenge the artsy to try a new instrument, audition for a play, take a watercolor class or voice lessons. If they love to argue, consider the debate team. Talk about career choices that use their talents. For example, math skills are priceless for computer software engineers.
Brick #3: Create a Family Motto

When my friend Beth's three teens were growing up, their family motto was "We aren't quitters." Anytime her son or daughters wanted to stop short of a commitment, they heard this phrase. Eventually Beth's children believed, "I belong to a non-quitting family."

By creating a tagline, our family identity is established. Then when difficulties arise, our motto serves as a stake in the ground declaring who we are as individuals — and as family.
Brick #4: Value Uniqueness

Physically and emotionally, teens' lives constantly change. They can feel overscheduled, unknown, abandoned, or even betrayed. Adolescents still want a unique place in our home. They need to know they belong and that they matter.

Encourage busy teens to enjoy down time, which strengthens their creativity and problem-solving skills. Inform your son his sense of humor is missed when he's gone. Tell your daughter you notice her thankful heart.
Brick #5: Highlight Spiritual Gifts

Ever since our son Justin was little, he has shown kindness to kids that are different. As a high school freshman, he continues to tap the heart of the lonely.

Justin's gym teacher asked the students to share who their best friend was and why. Both a popular and unpopular guy picked Justin. Their reasons: "He shows interest in me. He makes me laugh. He sits by me. He sticks up for me."

We affirmed Justin for using his gift of mercy with his friends.

Study verses about spiritual gifts with your teens: Romans 12:3-8; 1 Corinthians 12:1-31; 1 Corinthians 14:1-40; Ephesians 4:7-16; and 1 Peter 4:7-11.
Brick #6: Reinforce Spiritual Identity

No brick is more foundational than this one. When teens understand their worth in Christ, they can reject negative thinking that peers, insecurities and problems hurl on them. Just because teens fail — which they will — doesn't mean they are a failure.

Teens develop confidence when they believe they are loved by God — no matter what. This inner strength will carry them through trials and peer pressure. As they search for significance, our teens can influence their peers to do the same.

Google "Who I am in Christ." Print and review with your son or daughter. If someone tries to embarrass them about a mistake, say, "There is no condemnation for those in Christ" (Romans 8:1). Don't criticize them when they are knocked down. Instead extend your hand and your heart.
Construct A Strong Identity Wall

Building our teens' identity is a long process. The Great Wall of China took years of extensive labor before it fended off enemies. Our teens live in a hostile culture too. They need a wall of protection. As parental masons, we can help them stand up under fire.

The challenge is to be like Beth's family — and not quit.

Tifanny Stuart