I Am Not Odejimi - Episode 12

My father strolling down the stairs. I've totally forgotten he was around. He came earlier during the noon hours and I remember my Mum telling me of such. But I was so preoccupied with many things.
I was startled at his deep voice and greeted him in a sorry manner. Before I said my verbal sorry words, he had approached me and patted me with his apple on the other hand.
He kept on admiring and couldn't hold his joy of how much pride he had in his son.

"When your mother brought me here, I thought I was in another paradise." That sofa he sat on made that noise which proved he just came from the village.
Thinking it was a cane chair.
He took another crunchy bit audible enough and continued what he was saying.

After giving me updates of the new developments the village had worn, the king's affairs and even leveled it down to Ajoke, I knew he was starting a fire that wouldn't be easy to quench. So I thought.
Stylishly, I bade him goodnight. It was past 12 and God knew what time I would be up to meet up with my new slotted time given to me by my boss.
I slugged into my big bed that could make comfortable for 3 people and zoomed into another world.

A spoon fell and made a loud noise. A sleeping baby would have heard that. I woke up to check my time. It was just 5am. I got out of the bed like one who had been sleeping on bees. Headed to the bathroom and in less than 15 minutes I was done. 5 minutes or less was enough to wear a native. That's why I love native wears. No need to be worried about rumples of shirts or even getting the tie knotted well. Tilting the head upwards like one who wants to be pierced a hot knife. I was downstairs only to see my Mum preparing breakfast for me. In fact, she was done. I was astounded with mixed reactions either to smile or to hug her or even cry. I was 2 steps away from the dining and was staring at her endless movements from the kitchen to the dining to and fro.

Should I go sit and have the breakfast or I tell her I wasn't hungry? The thoughts I couldn't settle with.
Finally I moved my heavy feet to the table and kept on showering praises on her. I wished I didn't have to disturb her for my breakfast. She just wouldn't allow me have anything outside the four walls of my house. The special moments with her during the breakfast was spectacular as it kept on banging in my head. I would have hit a truck coming towards the opposite direction if not for the full headlamp shown on my face. Didn't know I was on the wrong lane. "I need someone indeed".

Finally, I was at work and I met my hardworking boss. She actually apologized to myself and the remaining 6 members she had to put on tough and awkward resumption time. Reasons are we needed attendees and sole representatives for a huge contract for the company. Being the first time in a long while and existence. To make this transformed into the reality, we needed each Head Of Departments and magnification of files. While still addressing us, the office hone rang and I could hear "yes ma... We are on our way". That was the call from the Head Quarters questioning our preparations. That's the life we live in. Today rossy and not all time enjoyments.

All things went faded before my very eyes as I was lost into another world. I could only see blank walkers here and there and jubilations. Each and everyone jumping and taking turn for handshakes, others doing the hug. The ring from the phone had me jump from my chair. It was all a dream. I had slept off while finalizing the reports for the last quarter. "Woah!" Was what I could utter to the person on the other hand while cleaning my face.

I quickly put a call to mama I would be home late or rather won't be home at all. "Where to my son?"
"We are heading to Abuja. This is really a huge contract and we need to defend this amidst other competitors and rivals."
"My prayers are with you don't worry"

"That's my Iya for sure. I trust you for that" I could hear the shattering sounds of cutlery.

It was past 8 and the next available flight is less than a hour from that. I was tremendously nervous. It was my first time of working outside my usual box. Going through another procedure and even talking convincingly for proposal to be accepted. The last time I stood talking convincingly was when I was representing my department for a debate. Now this phase has a different look. All eyes will be on me and even as a team leader.
While the plane was taxiing, I was constantly reminded of how hard I needed to go on the rivals and how important it was to the company. I started getting sick of their commentaries.

We zoomed into the main building and was humbly welcome before directed to the conference room where we had booked our seats. We were distinctively different amongst the people seated in there. The companies and their representatives present all had a unique style of dressing. Same color of suits and even men's shoes. I kept on viewing and feeding my eyes while I saw the entrance door flung open again for another set of representatives. Now, the conference room was full and I could see the arranged seat were enough for each and everyone without any left.
Then the director as I supposed, walked in stylishly and elegant with pride all over him. I could detect that just as he was wearing a shoulder padded coat and not a suit. After less introduction, he sets the ball rolling.

I just couldn't stop at my glances and amazements the way presentations were rolling from left to right. Debate days flashed back and I can barely tell the difference. "This must worth billions of naira as a deal" so I thought to myself.

It was our turn and been the final presenter and defendant, I knew it must be a good one. It just have to be. One way or the other. That resounding clap, I want to hear it.
I mounted the pulpit with a hundred percent confidence and pride. With my heavy like file containing different design pictures and even accurate price quotation. Half way into the ball played by me, I could see heads just going like a pendulum. This shows in the affirmative and I was impressed with myself. "Was I the one handling this presentation?" Well, my mother's prayers are really working for me.

My disastrous fall dawned on me and I abruptly made a eye contact with a Queen. A beautiful princess. She was more than a damsel. After my mother, she's the next goddess. What made me lose control physically was the face seemed familiar somewhere. And that was how I ended my fantastic presentation with a salt at every one's mouth. I was too eager to un-mount myself and just question her identity and existence.

After on spot screening, we were reduced to 3 companies with good presentation and our company was spare headed. My mother's prayers still at work.
As I saw the branch manager walking towards me, I quickly acknowledged "yes ma'am! I know it wasn't to your expectation but I..." She cuts me off

I dislike when she gives that stern look. But this time that stern look meant something different entirely. Tilting my head to the right waiting for the next bombshell, all she could say was "congratulations.. That we made it through"
Seriously? Was that it? Why was she hard in the first instance? Guess she needed some happiness lessons. During the 15 minutes recess, I came across the stunning lady that caught me off guard as she left for the elevator.

"Errm... Excuse me please" I said running towards her as she was walking faster this time. Like she was about to be kidnapped.
My boss was dismayed as she waved her hand like "what's wrong with him?"

Paracetamol For All HeadAches?

A step mum once abused a child beyond measures. She went as far as putting her hand into his eyes and amputated his legs. Just a 21 months old baby. What was the cause? Because he was crying profusely and his mother went across the street to buy his diaper. She disliked noise and she didn't know of any best way to calm the crying child other than going with what deadly thought came to her. She was too quick to have done that before she knew she was doomed!

They say the most quiet people are the deadliest. I don't doubt that. And do you also know empty barrels make the loudest noise? Right from Elementary you knew that.

What could they have meant by the empty barrels makes the loudest noise? You put an empty barrel close you and yet your volume 5 on your home theater is louder than that empty barrel. You just did the literal action.
But put your ears close to the barrel, and hit it from the outside. You don't need any body to tell you how the vibrations are so eminent. The empty barrel just doesn't stop making that "ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho" noise.

But breaking it down from the parable angle, it means those talkative; those who are everywhere, talk at anytime, anyhow and anywhere always have baseless and pointless things to say. You wake up today and then you set a goal. You keep telling yourself and boasting of how tremendous your goals are. You didn't make efforts anyway anyhow to achieve it into reality. But 5 years down the line, you keep pressing the reset button to that same goal which means you haven't been able to accomplish number 1 of that written goal. That's an empty barrel.

My brother came up to me one day and requested for a particular thing. He said he needed it so urgently. I asked him to find out how much it cost and give me feedback. He actually did and I was about giving him the exact amount for it. But then I felt a grip. I told him to come back for it. Days later, I saw him with a particularly devotional. He had bought 4 of that devotional which cost was above the amount of that need he asked me of. I was surprised and angry at the same time and I wanted to react immediately. I kept my cool and was contemplating if he had done the right thing. God's word yeah right? He wanted to share it with friends. But then again, this particular thing he needed didn't cost up to that.
At first I was convinced he had done the right thing. By buying it and wanting to share it. But you know, that was just a WANT. His NEED which he didn't attend to was laying there and he was expecting me to give him that amount.
I suddenly walked up to him and asked him why he did that. I told him those books, he could have gotten it later and gone for what he needed.

If I had reacted to the way I felt immediately I found out, I would have caused more damage with my words and even with my action most especially. I would have over reacted because his disturbances were too much concerning what he asked of me.

I'm saying always take precaution before any action. You might just realize that planned action wouldn't have been much needed. It could have burnt down and torn things apart. A little thought would go far other than your FIRST REACTION. True, humans are made to make mistakes that can even hurt you to your marrows. And you just suddenly want to kill the person. If you check out wife stabbers and those who beats child(ren) to stupor when arrested and statements withdrawn, it would just be over a very minute matter that wouldn't take 5 minutes to be resolved. You hear of how domestic staffs or workers gets punished. There was a case of a little girl who earned severe burns from her boss. She allegedly poured hot water on her because she wasn't quick to turn off the gas and the kettle was whistling away. When asked where she was, the domestic worker said she was attending to her boss's baby. Just that!!

A lawyer also taking her husband's life and making him go beyond with several stabbings. One who knew the gravity and weight of the law. It could have happened to anyone.

Result into thinking before carrying out your actions. Many times you want to make that quick action to the way the situation was. If you check it out, if that action was made you might just realize that it wasn't even necessary at all. I am a living witness to that. I don't jump into actions just like that. Those close to me can actually testify.

Reason For Emotional Shutdown In Teenagers.

It's no longer news when you see young boys wandering on the streets for no reason. Involving themselves in what's actually against their wish. It's not in their best opinion or decision to have resulted into disastrous acts but like I will always say; something led to another thing.

Let me see your hands up if this thought(s) hasn't raced through your mind before. Absconding, suicide, stealing, punishing your parents, wishing you were never born, or to have been into another family, fighting for no reason and so on. Either of these must have pierced you before.
The reason isn't far fetched. Just roll with me.

Nigeria experienced somewhat that looks like a "free and fair" election in 2015. It was called free and fair because a president decided to concede and accept defeat without asking for any court's process or trial. That day, history was made. Fast forward to a year since the new regime and administration took over, it almost seem like for the whole number of years I've spent in Nigeria; I have never heard of my home country spoken ill of. You walk through one corner, you hear different types of negative comments here and there. Everyone suddenly became a president and governor who have solutions to the country's problems. They made it look so bad like the government just came to sell guguru through out this 4 years. Obviously, there have been good efforts put into place(s). It's just take a strong CRITIC not to realize it.

CRITICISMhave so much been a ball played by everyone's foot and even a tough cow meat that seems to be chewed for long in their mouth. They say if you apply this particular country's method, it will work here. This particular country have started using this method and their economy is booming. But they fail to realize that same country has produced how many "good" presidents so far?

This brings me to our Parents. You see many teenagers just shut down and look so unhappy. They just don't want to have friends and mingle not because their parents have warned them to stay clear off bad friends but because of the way their parents have passed the message. You see some other teenagers go the extra mile by stealing so they can wear what their friends are also wearing. The reason for all these is CRITICISM.

CRITICISM is the act of criticizing; a critical judgement passed or expressed. A criticical observation or detailed examination and review.
It could also mean; the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding.

What causes emotional shutdown in teenagers? It's nothing other than CRITICISM. You hear parents telling their child(ren) "do you see how that girl came first? Why can't you also?" And if you check out, you see that particular child may have come second in class. But because of the unanimous attention and numerous light flashes designated on the child who came first position they begin to make their own child look like that position was worse. They neglect them till they see a change. No parent doesn't want his or her child(ren) not to be successful but there are certain careful measures and channels you can pass your message to them.

I attended a boarding school in my first 3 years of secondary life. And in a class of over 90 students close to 100, you can imagine what the struggle for good grade looks like. First 10 was always my position but on this fateful academic term, I came 56th. Woah! That was a bang on me. "What could possibly have gone wrong?" That question kept on raging wars in me. I check and cross checked again for the name written on the result held firmly in my hands if it wasn't a mistake. But it was all mine. The joy to even head back to the hostel and carry my bags to the park was just like a burden on me. I dragged my feet with style and head faced won all in deep thoughts. What to say to my parents was even not coming forth. I played safely that day by hiding myself away from my friends. I got home eventually and after the greetings, my dad's hands were stretched out waiting for my brown envelope. I gave him and after going through, he looked at me and was silent. Through out that week, I was obviously calm. Trying not to make errors at all. But the following week, they started reminding me of how I failed woefully. In everything I did, it just wasn't right. Then they began COMPARISON. They began to compare me to the child living opposite. Telling me of how she would always read with candles at night in her mother's shop. And still helping her out.

COMPARISON is another killer. When you CRITICIZE, you're expected to come up with solutions. And then you begin to COMPARE. CRITICISM has a back pack which never leaves it and it's COMPARISON. When you begin to compare your child(ren) to another, you're killing their vibes. You make them feel less in every way. The fact that she reads with candles doesn't mean she would probably have came first. It still doesn't mean if she was admitted into a class of 100 competitive students, she would have bagged first 5 position. This emotional shutdown by teenagers always come from academics. Suddenly, all encouragements is gone. And then you begin to think if your parents were your arch enemies. Some way on the bridge, you know they want the best of you. But then again, they aren't just getting connected with you at all. They even go as far as mentioning your mistakes to friends who come visiting. It's that bad.
Because you've failed JAMB or even didn't get admitted on 5 different occasions, they make a heap out of it.
Then they remind you of your age and how fast your developing to a youth.

Enough of the long talks. A solution to this disastrous stigma eluded in them is nothing other than ENCOURAGEMENTS. Your son or child washes the plate and it's still oily, doesn't mean you need to spank them. A little back rub accompanied with a well done or good job spoken, doesn't make you less a human being. I'm sure you won't be able to contain that priceless smile written all over their face(s). Your ward slipped from 3rd position in class to 7th position. You don't need to remind him/her of how the first position in class didn't have a 2 head. It just looks like all their efforts when he/she came 3rd position was just a waste. Instead of wailing and rebuking so hard, find out why that slip was so enormous. Why it happened.

You notice an unusual habit in your child(ren). You don't need to start writing them off and giving them humongous examples of lives derailed by that habit. Instead you encourage and know why it happened. There's nothing greater than helping your child(ren) grow in LOVE. We can't do without that. Even the world now, if it could give LOVE a chance to rule for a day, you can sure imagine the PEACE that would reign everywhere.

These days it's now hard to correct another parents child(ren). They see you as an enemy. They see you as teaching them their job. Marriage isn't by force if you know you aren't ready for parenting. Cos that's another thing entirely.

Just as it isn't always on intentions for parents to do the otherwise and use the searing words on us, we also as TEENAGERS should put in place good measures of characters that wouldn't warrant them giving us break down in our emotions.


BE CAREFUL HOW YOU MAKE YOUR CHOICES!
BE CAREFUL HOW YOU USE YOUR TONGUE!!
BE CAREFUL HOW YOU INTERPRET WORDS TO CHILDREN!!!

PEAZOUT!!!!!!