I Am Not Odejimi - My Evolution series 3

After much tosses, I decided to go for mechanical engineering. I wanted to make myself proud and also my parents. I loved the way Odejimi whisks into the village like he own the village. The flashy cars and the way he hosts the village festivals. It almost seem like there can't be any of his type again in the village.
I decided to break that camel's back. I will be like him and even surpass him. After all, he doesn't have two heads.

I was so eager to resume school I worked more than I can imagine to earn more to feed myself and cater for all other personal needs. There's only little my parents could do. Old age is already telling on them. And for my mother, she's the only one I worry about so much. Her health status keeps deteriorating and we keep preparing herbs for her.

The day for school resumption finally came and as usual, there's just one way out. Wake up early enough to meet up or else, you wait for another good day.
I could see the tears at the bossom of my mother's eyes as she tried to hide it very well. I can actually detect her moods. Her happy time and otherwise. She prayed for me and prayed till she finally let out those tears. It was more than I could bare just as I joined her too in the sharing of tears. Mine was more than hers as she started consoling me.

I couldn't hold my tears back not because I was going to miss her most, but on how they will survive when I'm gone. The little my father can do is to harvest. Who will sow?
These were the thoughts that were playing slowly in my head when Baa mi came out of the room and saw our present condition.

"It's okay my dear. My Akanni will do so well. I'm so sure of that" these were the soothing words from my father.

Apparently I don't think he saw my own condition.
"Aahh. You too you're crying?"

We finally headed out with my big brown metal box. That box was passed from one generation to another to another which finally found its way to me. If you had carried that box, you will know it was almost empty.
How many of my clothes were there? There was nothing like designer shirts and shoes. I just had my normal aso oke. I was even taking my mat before I changed my mind. I hate loads or anything that makes me inconvenient. Especially when I'm travelling.

Well, the usual talk between father and son engaged while we walked our way with an headlamp through the dark route leading to the bus park. The "remember the son of who you are" and all advices didn't stop. Don't join gangs.
My affirmative to all he said.

After hours of long journey that almost looked like it won't end finally came. The driver halted and I could see everyone alighting from the bus.
"That's the final bus stop. Let's get down".
We trekked for another hour I think before we boarded another bus. This time I thought we were almost exhausting the money we had. I was so curious I took note of every thing that happened while we journeyed. I normally don't sleep while travelling. This is all because of my nerves.

I was so thirsty I quickly reached to buy water at the gate entrance. The water was so different. Normally, what I learnt in school was that water doesn't have taste. But there's something different from this and the river water we drink in the village. Particularly, the river water was very cold and it would immediately quench your thirsts.
But this was like I haven't even drank anything at all. Instead my thirst was doubled.

Something was quite different as we approached the administration office. The way we dressed and looked was very very different from others. Their eyes were fast fixed on us. Some even jested but then I didn't focus my attention. I suddenly started feeling uncomfortable with the metal box on my head.

I quickly resulted to lifting it with my hands. My father laughed briskly as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes. I actually don't know the reason for that but I think it's cos of the way we were jested.
The administrative block towards us was fast approaching. We finally asked one of the students there and he said he too doesn't know. So we practically became a blind person being led by another blind man.

Well, it didn't take us time as we saw the bursar coming out of his office. We were startled at his image and mightiness. We asked where we could register and do the neccessary, he immediately ordered us and in less than half an hour, we were done.
I would say in my own case, it was so easy and natural! I was quickly allocated to an hostel and I was so happy.
While my father was with the bursar talking like they've known each other from childhood, I was outside the office surveying everywhere like I was the minister for education.

Something caught my eye. Something unusual and familiar. At first, I thought it was my imaginations. I went back into the office and sat on the reception bench for a while and decided to return to that spot.
It was still the same thing. Or was I dreaming?
Minutes later, their talk was over. He was actually asking if he could stay with the bursar while he waits for 2 days for the next bus returning to the village.

Two days was finally over and before I knew it, he was already on his way. I didn't even get to say goodbye and send my regards to my mother. But he left me a note.
I was called to the bursars office only for him to know he has automatically become my guardian.
"Guardian you say sir?" I was startled at his words
"Yes I am. Trust me, tertiary school isn't as easy as you think. So you don't want to mess up with the bad guys on the campus" I was calmed but I don't like it.
I don't like when I'm been monitored. Why can't I live my life to my pleasures? Atleast this is a new atmosphere and environment and I want to enjoy every moment is comes with.

I Am Not Odejimi - My Evolution (series 2)

It's of this same land we are using as a medium to survive. I wonder what would have happened if that land wasn't my mother's own. Probably I wouldn't have decided to come their way. Of course they say there's no leaf that falls without God's knowledge of it. I know my existence through them wasn't also a mistake. Just that painful thoughts won't stop coming.
I exceeded their expectations and I was so happy because I worked for my own extra income.

Each time I'm at the farm, I always have this pleasure drawing. Not by using any paint or brush or even a cardboard. There's always a stick I would sit on and use leaf branches to draw on the floor. Whenever I'm tired and decide to take a break. It started by drawing indefinite things till I was able to draw a cocoa tree which was always adjacent to where I sat.

Ajoke had passed with her friends and only her was able to sight the drawing on the floor. I was so shy I pretended no to have heard what she was saying. I answered her sharply and immediately went back to my duties. I remember making extra income that faithful day. On her way back from there goings out, she decided to branch the farm and buy fresh potatoes. I was surprised at her accent.

She was so fluent with her command of English. Very bold and elegant lady. Her long hair was so noticeable and dark enough to be flaunted. I couldn't help to engage my eyes through the other necessities God has endowed her with. Well I guess she came there to engage me with words. It was so obvious! Her friends paved way for her behind while she do the forceful buying.

Two things came across me. If I was to use my influence on her, she would actually fall for me. So I thought. My influence not as the son that comes from a rich family but due to my little fame in the village.
"That's the intelligent boy" mostly I hear from groups of ladies whenever I'm coming back from the farm.
And immediately, I remembered my father's advice. "Ladies can be deceitful and at the same time useful" those were his words like food to me everyday.
" You know when they see you're a very bright lad and you're also well to do, they will flock you."
"Not for any other thing than to cause distraction. It only takes the one with the inner eye to know which is which with good intentions. Moreover, your priority now isn't to be after ladies"

"But baa mi how will I just tell them no? I don't want to offend any of them at all" I asked him back
"You see my son. Achieving one's dream is the first priority. Though I couldn't due to my own condition"
"Baa mi. I know now." I said smiling and flapping my aso oke like one who's under fire.
"Just tell them politely and watch out for their advancements. It's very easy. Just don't get too attached to any of them and don't make promises you can't keep"

I don't know how exactly how those words reprimanded me at that time within a short period of time. By the time I was set free from the mistiness, she was done picking the potatoes.

We engaged in a little conversation and I could tell I liked her. Her smiles are touching. Oh! She has dimples. I couldn't stop comprehend at that moment. We ended the conversation and it looked like we had talk for just half a second. I gladly took my baskets and headed for home after a very long day.

Was I too lazy to have noticed her? Probably I was too busy to know such beauty existed in the village. My mood that day was different.

Time passed and we seldom hang out together. I immediately found her path and started crossing her. Just as I love to do. Surprises are my favourite. I would surprise her in any way.
There was a particular day I dress all in leaves. Fresh cocoa leaves scared her so bad. Luckily, she was the only one returning from the river.
I scared her she almost lost control of the water pot on her head.
I quickly undressed myself and handed myself to her like one who's caught up by the police.
She was actually glad to see me and we walked off home before we parted ways.

Baa mi has seen me but kept his cool. Days later, he called me and spoke at length to me. He also gave elderly advices to me which I find so helpful to me. I prostrated flat on my belly and thanked him for his time. Not just for that, for him not even shouting and raising his voice at me. I seriously hate that and he knows.

Years later, I was done with the elementary school and passed exams into Federal univerisities. Prestigious univerisities was every parents dream for their children.
Luckily for me I was admitted on merits. And not just that alone, on scholarship too. I had done sciences when back then.
What branch of science would I love to continue with? That question, I can't answer.

I Am Not Odejimi - My Evolution

Past and present rolled in as I couldn't Settle for less. Nevertheless, I was not tabled for the yet to come. I could only not see beyond the wrong deeds, but also not to neglect the pain inflicted on me when I was nothing hunting for jobs. The down moments when I had to go as far as a mile to get contacts and contracts.
There was nothing like telephone or even mails to send. The only way I could do this was get up from bed as early as 3a.m.
If I don't catch the 5a.m bus, then the day is all a waste. But how? Is it when my meal per day is 0-0-1? Obviously nothing in the morning. I couldn't feel it because the excitement I get from the morning could take me till afternoon before I begin to feel the clash of the titans.
I am so used to it whenever I feel the hunger, I quickly dismiss it. Even when I'm offered snacks at the receptions or on some occasions, taking it in makes me awkward. Still there was no job.

I just finished as a first class degree holder in mechanical engineering. That's a very good grade. At least for my parents. They rejoiced so well and were so affirmative in me getting good job. They had gone on several hunger strikes just because of me their only son. Well, now I'm in the same shoes. I almost thought of other monetary alternatives as I asked myself "Is this meant to be a generational lineage of sufferings?"
If my answer could be yes, then there's no need why I had to have studied in the university. The money spent on me then, I could have used it to buy a good land and secure it at least before coming up with a very good business plan.

Mind you, I'm a very good Christian at most I attend Sunday services. That's all. If God was never asleep, I wouldn't have been born into this poor lineage let alone be born. Thoughts like this never stopped raging in me daily. I studied for a different passion. The passion and dream of my parents was for me to also be like Odejimi who had started buying cars for his parents when he was barely 30. I hear he works in an oil company as a part time while studying. I also heard he studied Mechanical Engineering.
I am half the age of Odejimi. Odejimi is the local champion in our community. At first when I noticed him, I was on my way from the farm and been tired after cutting woods I saw this red huge car. Never knew it as a jeep.
Zoomed passed me like a flash. I also heard chantings as they followed him. I got home and ask baba mi.
"Who is that person they are chanting after?" You know, being a very reserved person, naturally, exquisite things don't get at me. Though I admire them and always wished to have them but what could I do? To continue building castles in the air. I was apparently the only village boy that didn't rush in good sight.

While I was there asking baba mi, he asked me back and said "Haaaa...hahaha... Why didn't you also follow them and touch the car? Don't you also want to have one?" He said based on his belief.

"Well he is Odejimi and he's the son of the great hunter. He comes once in a while to pay homage and as you can see, the cars this father is using, he was the one that bought it for him"

"Baa mi!"
"Yes my son!" He replied back while taking the bench made of bamboo and covered with palm leaves.
"Does touching the car mean I will have one? And you said he comes once in a while."

"Yes once you have good intentions towards him, and you have faith you will have a car like that. Yes once in a while and most times you're always at the farm working"
My mother couldn't follow me to the farm this very day. She was ill and recuperating well.
I made up my mind I was going to be like him. I was already lost in deep thoughts as I didn't even pay attention to what baa mi was saying any longer. He had called my name countless times as I was standing with my hands folded thinking of how I will start.
I got into the house and discussed with my mother and she was so happy with me. I also assured her I will henceforth come out with good grades in school. Not like our school was a modern one. With the help of this same Odejimi, we had benches to sit on and tables to write upon. The environment was well conducive I think at least not to attract any unpalatable behaviour from anyone.

Later that night, my mother discussed with baa mi while having our supper that night. You know what they say "the way to a man's heart is his belly". Well not in my own case. Where's the meal? Is it not when you have hope that food is somewhere you will be happy?
My father's case was very simple. "The way to baa mi's heart is his beautiful and loving wife. Her words and her intelligence". That's the main reason why baa mi married my mother.
Her words to my father made him give another extra 100% support towards my education. Being a very intelligent, brilliant and smart child, I was likable by more than half of the community. Well why won't they?
My people will say "A ki i ri omo Oba ki ma ri ami dansaki lara re'" which means you can't see a prince or a princess without the sign of a royalty.
I portrayed such traits from my mother most especially. My man-like voice was from my father and also his stature.
My intense hard work on the farm was doubled. Not because I was told to do so, but because I needed to earn extra money and start fending for myself. Honestly, seeing my parents sometimes makes me want to do more in everything.

The farm belongs to my mother. She's actually not from a very rich family but if you're counting responsible parents and homes, her family can't be opted out. Being the first child as many see it, she's the next after her older brother who passed away when he was just 3 years of age. But nobody knows.
Abike has she was fondly called by everyone had a lot of well reputable and rich boys coming after her. Asking her hand in marriage. She could have said yes to any of them but she decided to say yes to baa mi. What was it she saw as a good trait in my father that she decided to settle for him. His character! That's all. My father isn't from a rich family at all.
Even when she told her parents and said she's has seen the man after her heart, there were lots of disagreements here and there.
"No you will never marry from a family like that. You're a woman. And do you expect to be the man in your home?" Her mother would tell her pulling her ears.
Eventually her will was done but before her father died, he willed his land to his daughter and blessed their union. And other valuable properties to her siblings, my uncles.
Their union brought about me.

Spark Your Relationship This Valentine

Not everyone looks forward to celebrate the day of love and of lovers. And I am not talking about single or broken-hearted people. I am talking about those couples who have felt their relationships slipping out of their fingers and are only left with good-old-day memories of how their previous days were enjoyed with love and honeymoon tactics (plenty, plenty calling, love texting and pillow talks have now become squeezed-in ‘how are you’ texts).
You need to bring the spark back into your relationship and though it might sound corny, this Valentine’s WEEKEND is the perfect opportunity.

1.) Take Your Mind Off Sex:
When was the last time you truly went heart-to-heart? You speak to each other every day but do you really talk?
How well have you gotten to know each other in the past time that you have just been speaking? Talking does not mean to just bring up the subject of your almost-dead relationship (you can try that afterwards but not now). You may end up fighting (unless that is what you want) and breaking up.
The two of you change as time goes on and so talking about each other’s aspirations, or for instance, career projections, could help you figure out how you have individually changed and what has influenced that change.
More importantly, you could subtly pick up on whether the other values your relationship or not. Talking could also get you to remember the good old days and bring up sweet memories. It will increase your level of intimacy towards each other depending on which topics you focus on (you should know the volatile topics by now)

2. Stop Everything
…and concentrate on your partner. The spark is probably out because of your busy schedules but the weekend should be reserved for the two of you just for the sake of your relationship. This counts as special because you choose to focus on your time together.
Your partner will definitely appreciate the effort. During this time together, do not allow technology to ruin it. Technology has become the devil of relationships today; just do not allow it to reign in yours for the length of the time you will spend together.
You both must understand that your time together is special and supremely important over every other thing or person (make room for contingencies though)

3. Do Something New
And make sure it is something both of you enjoy. You have already sacrificed your time to be together so do not sacrifice your happiness. A lot of people in relationships do things they do not because they enjoy them but simply because it is at their partner’s bidding.
While that is wonderful (to compromise amicably) and hopefully reciprocal (of course, it should be even), that time for sacrifice is not now. A great way to spice up your relationship is to break out in new activities together and explore something different and perhaps unfamiliar.
You are going to get the thrill of experiencing something you both may be uncertain about but it is a great opportunity to rely on each other’s instincts to survive in the new activity thereby shooting up the level of trust in your partner. Which new activity will you enjoy exploring with your partner?
If you truly want to save your relationship, you both should find ways to make it wonderful. Any one of you should take the initiative and make it work.

credit: lailasblog

Different Strokes For Different Folks

You know how they Say one man's large toilet is another man's passage. One man's meat is definitely another man's beef. The problem with our society now is trying to imitate others seeing that they are successful and everything is working fine for them. They also want to try that business option and at the end of the tunnel they see its more darker than the beginning.

Just because one celebrity marriage is fine and you see them almost everywhere on the red carpet, social media and all, you think putting your partners picture on social media is the only way you truly love him. You don't know how much fire those couples have quenched before they're seen smiling here and there.

Except you have passion for what you do, you can't succeed in another man's track. And only if it's your divine career, you can't wear Usain Bolt's track shoes and expect to be as fast as he his on the track field. I will keep saying the only think you can do before any other thing is go on your knees and pray. Pray fervently and ask God for what exactly you will do that will prosper the works of your hands.

There's no damage that will be caused if you are yourself. Being yourself is the best feeling and you don't know how elated you will be seeing yourself as a role model in one little way.
PEACE

If This Isn't Your Reality - Then Keep Sleeping

"I don't care who you are. Where you from and what you do. Just as long as you're chasing money do what's right and never give up on it."
That's a very powerful chorus from a popular duo musician in Nigeria.
And it continues
"...no matter how many times you ever fall. Just keep your head up high and standing tall"

There's actually no profession or career that nobody hasn't succeeded in right now. Do you want to talk about massive crowds in stand up comedies? Or the massive attention to blockbuster movies? Definitely they are good actors in such movies.

Perhaps you're thinking of churches. For those who have gone the extra mile and turned God's kingdom to "business" which is bringing them good profits. Or internet marketing, e-commerce and blogs. Name a whole lot more and see if you won't find successful people who have been in the game for long.

But once you're determined, consistent, hardworking and prayerful, surely your path of greatness is sure. Whoever God blesses, no one can curse. It doesn't matter how long they've been in the game and how they've been enjoying the fame and all. You too can surpass them and be at the top of your game. Once you trust God and you follow his directions and you let him be the lamp unto your feet, every road which seems rough will be straighten before you.

Remember that no matter your field of choice, you will always have critics, haters. You can't please everyone at the same time. And it goes vice-versa too. How do you let the jabs they throw at you have much effect on you?
There are even good critics that they know exactly what they will say that will get your attention. You obviously camt turn deaf ears to all.

But you definitely will pick the best of all and work on them. It's not neccessarily you reply all stones thrown at you.

If you believe you can succeed without people trying to pull you down, then you have to wake to the reality. If that's not your reality, then keep sleeping.

Physical abuse

A Yoruba woman will say to her child "ti mo ba la ori e mo ogiri" which simply means if I hit your head against the wall. There are many other statements like that that has been voiced out by our mothers. They will say African Mothers. But do you know there are actually some mothers who are capable of doing just as they've said? Even before the statement, the action has already been carried out. Well, it's obviously from their temperaments. You know raising a teenager by most parents, they will describe it as the most toughest time of their parenthood.
They believe when you've finally become a youth, you're man enough to take care of yourself. And that's when they can finally rest.
I've actually heard a woman who said after these two children, I'm not producing more even when the husband wants more. She claimed it's because of the trainings.
My Mum has even said one time that the energy you use In training two boys, you can use that same energy to raise 5 girls. Is that true? Well I don't really concur to that. It's all based on mentality and how fervent we are with our prayers. That teenage age is when he devil will love to strike and it's also the time God wants to use us for his mighty works.
Remember David was a teenager when he rose to prominence. Likewise Joseph too.

But how can you have "isinmi" peace later when you neglect your duties as a parent? Training a teenager takes a lot of energy. But do you know, sometimes, teenagers act the way they do intentionally. On purpose. They could decide to not even do what you asked them to do. And even decide not to do away with the bin. Immediately you leave their room, they return to their video games and all other deliberate actions. Now, it depends on how you choose to treat these issues.
Parents should try not play the blame game when they find their teenagers at fault one way or the other.

That's why I started with the emotional violence. If you decide to scold them and not listen, then you think the next line of action is physical?
A neighbour doesn't beat his male children. They stand man to man like the tyson and mayweather. They throw punches at each other. And I don't need to tell you who the winner is.

When your mum says "ma lu e selese" which means I will beat you mercilessly or your dad says "ma fe lu e pa" I will almost beat you to death. You need to go back and reinforce. Most times they don't mean what they say but they believe that with such statement, they've created a fear in us which will make us do the right thing.
If you ever hear such statements, you need to go back and check. What exactly happened? What were you told to do that wasn't executed?
Some teenagers would like to dare their parents and the results are not always good.

Physical can be as any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person by way of bodily contact. It occur when a part of one's body. Or an object is used to control a person's actions.

Physical abuse includes:

Using physical force which results in pain, discomfort or injury.

Hitting, pinching, hair pulling, arm twisting, strangling, burning, stabbing, punching, pushing, slapping, beating, shoving, kicking, choking, or any other rough treatment.

Assault with a weapon or object.

Threats with a weapon or object.

Deliberate exposure to severe weather or inappropriate room temperatures and

Murder.

Murder is the highest form of physical violence. I hear of different cases of how a teenagers will be burnt with hot iron because of 100 Naira. And this happens everyday. Thank God for Human rights.

I remember vividly of when I was a young dude. My mum would come to my room and whenever she wants to wake me up, it's always with a pinch. This pinch I can't explain but no matter how far you're in the dreamland, you will come back to reality.
Many more things she has done but thank God we can sit and laugh about it now.

Physically abused children and teenagers are always at risk for later interpersonal problems involving aggressive behaviour, and adolescents are much greater risk for substance abuse. Symptoms of depression, emotional distress and suicidal ideation are also common features of people who have been physically abused. Remember I mentioned these in the emotional abuse/violence.

As many as one-third of teenager who experience physical abuse are also at risk to become abusive adults.
Seeking treatments is unlikely for a majority of people that are physically abused, and the ones who are seeking treatment are usually under some form of legal constraint.

Parents can results to better way of scolding their teenager other than physical abuse and violence. Most importantly, when we show love to our teenagers and we continue to pray for them, these actions towards them will reduce because this time around, you aren't the one leading them. It's God leading them through you.

Peace!!!

Emotional Violence In Teenagers

Emotional violence occurs when someone says or does something to make a person feel stupid or worthless. Emotional abuse is any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization or any treatment which may diminish the sense of identity and self-worth.

Emotional violence/abuse is also known as psychological abuse. It is also a chronic verbal aggression. You wonder why some have low self esteem? It's because of the emotional abuse they've suffered from which brings about personality change(s) such as becoming withdrawn and may even lead to depression and suicide.

Emotional violence takes turns in may ways just as other violence. And funny enough, these violence comes handy. They are always intertwined. From one violence leads to another and another. Emotional violence takes the form of a cycle. In a relationship, this cycle starts when a partner emotionally abuses the other. By so doing, they show total dominance. The abuser then feels guilt but not from what he/she has done but more over the consequences of his actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for his own behaviour to avoid taking responsibility over what has happened.

Emotional violence often happens in relationships. This could result from:

Name calling

Abusive languages

Blaming all relationship problems on the other person

Using silent treatment

Destroying possessions

Jealousy

Humiliating or making fun of the person

Intimidation

Intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices

Not only in relationship does this happen. It happens within parents and teenagers. We've one way or the other experienced emotional abuse either from the ones I listed above or from others I didn't.
Growing up as a teenager, some parents knowingly and unknowingly do not know the greatest influence they can have on their children is through the emotions. The foundation of a living soul is his teenage years. Whatever you chose to do now, was as a result of one decision or the other you made in your teenage age.

The joy of every parents is to see their child(ren) succeed and even surpass them in the latter years. But do you know you can stop that dream of yours? And you can also reap bountifully from that dream of yours too. Teenage years are years where parents needs to guide and teach so well. No matter how busy you're, there should be a mother and child time you have. Mothers have great influence on a child so like the fathers too. The best thing you can do for a teenager is to encourage him/her. I tell you authoritatively that without this, there's no other way thing you can do.

I give you for instance. When you discover some characters about your child. Why don't you ask other than be quick to judge! This had led many to have outside confidants. A teenager who doesn't see the parent as a confidant and best friend and even role model, check yourself. There's absolutely something you aren't doing right. Your teen should be free with you. Personally, I'm very very close to my Dad than my Mum. There are somethings I can tell my dad which I can't reveal to her. Though she will hear them later but by that time, the temperament would have reduced better than the initial anger she would raise at me if I had told her directly.

You can hurt your teen by hurling abuses and raining discouragements on them. You might not be verbal, but your actions speaks louder than you can imagine. If your teen isn't good in mathematics, despite his repeated failures, don't wail at them. Tell them to try their best and showcase it to you. When they feel your love and interest in everything they do, they will be so happy to do them in the open and be proud to even tell their friends in school. You don't want to imagine the gloomy faces they will wear even when they know anything. But they will be too afraid to tell you because your answers towards them will not even encourage them to do more.
Ask them their day to day activities in school, church, even when they go to parties. Even when they say the darndest thing ever, there are simple and beautiful ways you can change that mindset. You can laugh it off and call them in private and correct them.
The way you can improve your teenage self esteem, praise them in the public and chastise them in the private if you do the otherwise, you might not feel the pain now but later. Don't be too strict in training your teenager. Be flexible as much as you can. You should know how to balance strictness and flexibility.

Invest in your teenager and enjoy your old age. That's my final word as I will be moving on to the next segment of violence. Peace!!!

More than you can imagine

This is super awesome. I mean here in Nigeria we have lots of raw talents everywhere. Closer to us than we can think.
This is an artwork by a final year student in Yaba college of technology. Indeed this is an art technology.
These talents don't need to die rather, they need to be broadcasted and showcased everywhere. He calls this Your Destiny Is In Your Hands by Eluagu Williams.

More pictures after the cut

What Better Way To Tolerate

I never had any idea the year 2016 would be extra ordinary awesome. Obviously I knew the year would be better than the previous one. But with half way into the first quarter of the year, it all seems like there's more than just to sit and stay idle. Controversies here and there and zero chill pill for nobody. You fire a shot, multiple shots will be fired back at you.

If you recall well. It started almost officially leading the way into the new year with the "almighty king of rap" Vic O having a beef with Falz. When he tagged him as the most controversial of 2015. Well he responded by saying he will release a diss track which we are still yet to hear.

And now on the first, the "mainland" and the "island" clashed on the most prestigious award ceremony when a representative didn't win as expected and the party to who didn't win felt his thoughts should be aired went on stage and vomited more than he ate. It's very nice when you feel cheated and probably you think something is wrong somewhere. It's very very okay to let it out, say your opinion and bare all that's in your mind out. I'm okay with that. But passing the message in a very wrong medium.

That's where I detest the whole scene. Kanye came on stage and he said what he felt later apologised for coming on stage that way. I'm not going to sit here and judge both parties. All I will be saying here is there are better ways to let out your mind without anybody getting hurt. Now that we have zero chill from critics. Everyone would hide behind their social media and spit rubbish on another person. I'm a supporter of peace and those who knows me can't actually pull an incident where I've had issues. I don't really think so.

Everyones dream is to be great in whatever field of choice he has made. We all want to have money and power so we earn respect. We all want to be famous and by all priorities, make Heaven. If all these aren't on your everyday list, then I guess it's time for you to continue sleeping. And when we eventually get to that comfort zone, there will always be that thing you aren't doing right or that things that you are doing too much that needs to stop. That's where the wailing critics begin to appear.

I really don't blame some people though. Some would say reasons for their reckless life spendings is beacuse they've seen first class poverty. And they think going back to that is nothing. So they just enjoy their moment and think of nothing.

Incase you don't know, if you don't remember, you can't be humble. The humility of a man is tested when he has everything. That's very true. You begin to be humble beacuse you need something and then when you get it, you forget how you had to beg for that position that you're now. Well, that's that about that.

Violence isn't the best way to say whatever opinion we have. It's this same mouth that we will use to reject what shouldn't be ours and possess what's ours. Violence has done more damages than any other acts. Violence varies in several ways.

Emotional violence

Physical violence

Financial violence

Marital violence

Sexual violence

Psychological violence

Spiritual violence

Cultural violence

Verbal violence

Neglect violence

All these are so dangerous. I don't think there's actually one violence better than the other. If you aren't satisfied by whatever actions are take towards you, say it out. You can't sit their and assume the other party will realise their errors. By so doing you begin to act cold and snub. That's mostly leads to psychological violence.

In my next post, I will be treating each violence accordingly. You sure don't want to miss it.

Growing Up As A Teenager

Teenager's face real problems on a daily basis during the most awkward growth stages of their lives; between 13 and 19-years-old.
During this time, teens are exposed to some overwhelming external and internal struggles. Teens go through, and are expected to cope with hormonal changes, puberty, social and parental forces, work and school pressures, as well as encountering many conditions and problems. Teens feel overwhelmed when faced with unprecedented stresses concerning school and college, and career confusion situations. Those who have absentee parents are exposed to more unfavorable states of life. The issues that teenagers face today vary but these issues can be dealt with easily if parents and other guardians can understand the symptoms of their problems. Parents need to approach their children, who have been suffering from one or more teenage problems, carefully and in a friendly manner to discuss the problem(s). Many teens feel misunderstood. It is vital that their feelings and thoughts are validated and that the validation comes from their parents.

The most common problems that teenagers face today include:

Self-Esteem and Body Image
Stress

Bullying

Depression

Cyber Addiction

Drinking and Smoking

Teen Pregnancy

Underage Sex

Child Abuse

Peer-Pressure and Competition

Eating Disorders

Surprisingly, all of these problems are connected to one another, like a chain reaction. When the teens face self-esteem and body image problems, they can become frustrated, resulting in eating disorders. The teens start feeling stress when they are exposed to peer-pressure and competition at school, or child abuse at home. Many teens take to drinking and smoking in order to relieve the stress. Many may run away from home, play computer games, and start chatting online with strangers. Computer games and online chatting can result in addiction. Many teens feel further stress when they get bullied online. Others may become easy targets of online predators and once treated badly, they turn to more harmful practices. Those who cannot find love at home or support at schools start to build relationships with friends in school or local areas, resulting in unsafe or underage sex, and possible teen pregnancy. Many become addicted to drugs and harm themselves when they cannot get results. Many teens resort to crimes once they feel they cannot get any help or support.
However, the most common problems teenagers face today are described below:

Self-Esteem and Body Image

Teenagers undergo and have to cope with numerous body changes. Some teenagers feel too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, etc. This feeling leads them to spend time wishing they were not too skinny, too short, their hair was not too curly or vice versa. The problem with this feeling is that it affects their self-image. As a teenage boy or girl's body changes, so does the self. When they do not like something in themselves, they have self-esteem and body image problems. They also perceive others, particularly schoolmates, to view them as they view themselves. They can suffer more from these problems when they have trouble adjusting.

Hormonal changes have huge effects on the general growth and mood of the teens. Puberty changes tempt teenagers to compare themselves with people around them and when they find they do not match their standards, they feel low. They also compare themselves with those seen on TV, in movies, and in the magazines. Most youths' ability to develop positive self-esteem is affected by family life and parental criticism. Teenagers who experience negative comments about their appearances, the way they talk, etc stuff also develop poor self-esteem and body image.

Bullying

Bullying is one of the worst teenage problems and affects millions of youths. Bullying causes fear in the minds of kids, and makes them nervous going to school each day. The adults do not always witness the bullying in their lives. The teenage children may be subject to heavy bullying as they may not understand how extreme it can get. Any form of bullying is relentless, causing the affected teenagers to live in a state of constant fear. Two of the prime reasons teens are bullied are their appearance and social status. Bullying has caused many serious and life threatening problems for bullied teens. As they get bullied often in school, their academics, and mental health suffer.
Bullying can be cruel when it becomes physical attacks on the victims. Some bullies attack their targets physically while others repeatedly spew verbal insults, affecting the psychology of the affected teens.

The latest edition of bullying is cyberbullying . It can get as worse as it gets in the real life experience of the teens. Cyberbullies use cruel instant messages, text messages, emails online, and voice messages in many cases. Bullying is a very offensive behavior and crime. Bullying leads to more violent behavior in the bullies in their adult years. They eventually get rejected by their peers, lose friendships and become depressed as they age. Parents, teachers, and people in general should educate their teenagers about bullying and tell them to report any act of bullying to them. Media can also educate the teenage children about bullying when some teenagers are bullies.

Depression

Depression is one of the worst problems that some teenagers suffer from and it can lead to more problems in the future. Depression may arise from poor self-esteem and body image problems. If that is the reason of depression in a teen, then parents should talk to the teen, listen to their child, comfort him or her, and accept their child for who they are. It is crucial that teens feel validated in their feelings and thoughts because what they are going through is a real part of their lives. Parents and guardians should not judge or criticize their feelings or thoughts. They should tell the teen how important it is to have high self-esteem and be comfortable in their body.

Depression symptoms in teenagers may be exhibited in various ways. Changes in sleep patterns, eating habits, declined interest in normal and healthy activities, dropping grades in school and college, and preferred isolation are all signs of depression. When teenagers exhibit one or all of these symptoms parents should intervene immediately. If teenagers begin talking about their depression, then they should be allowed to express their feelings, and parents should validate their feelings by listening to them without interrupting the conversation.

Drugs and Alcohol

Youths, particularly those who are in their early teens who drink, put themselves at risks for many problems. For example, they face problems with the law, at school, with their parents, and peers. In the USA, drug abuse is a major problem affecting millions of teenagers, along with their parents and families. It is an imperative that parents, schools, media, etc, educate the young children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and how drugs affect their bodies. If they are taught properly, then they will be able to make an educated choice.

Cyber Addiction

The Internet offers undeniable benefits in developing a teen's ability to grow with modern technology, technical ideas, knowledge and other skills. However, using the internet, particularly the social networking websites, unsafely puts the teenagers at very high risk for many problems. When children spend more than enough or agreeable time online they tend to be cyber addicts. As they spend more time on social networking, gaming, and other websites, particularly adult sites, they suffer from cyber addiction.

Cyber addiction can be just as harmful as addiction to drugs or drinking alcohol. Teenagers who spend unhealthy amounts of time on the Internet or online suffer from a condition recognized as Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). Those who have IAD conditions may experience distress, withdrawal symptoms including obsessive thoughts, tremors, and other mental and physical problems. Cyber addiction impairs the quality of their lives. Parents should talk to their children and agree on a list of rules that clearly say when to use the internet, which sites they should visit and what safety measures they should follow. Teachers can also ensure safe browsing of the web at schools and colleges for teenage students.

Final Thoughts

Problems that teenagers are faced with today are multifarious but interrelated in many cases. One problem invites another, then to more problems. Parents, teachers and other guardians should be well aware of the problems that today's teenagers are facing and be prepared to eliminate the problems to their best abilities. The sad fact is, even in solid and stable family units, teenagers may face with uncertainly, confusion and wrong directions involving their lives. Those who have witnessed and experienced broken homes, unsafe sex, alcohol, drug abuse, and bullying issues, show themselves differently in the community they live in. Proper parenting is vital, especially in the very formative years of the children, so that they can grow up with the manners and teachings taught by their parents.

Age with Grace

We'd all love to age gracefully, but it might be easier if we knew what the heck that meant.
Does aging gracefully mean cheerfully accepting gray hair and other physical changes, the way Barbara Bush (87) seemingly does? Or, on the other hand, does it require staying eternally gorgeous as the years slide by, like Sophia Loren (77)? Is it keeping a busy schedule of work or public service, like Jimmy Carter (87) or Betty White (90)? Or being super fit, like 68-year-old champion long jumper Carl Etter of Duluth (see cover story)? Or maybe it's gradually slowing down, relaxing, spending time in the garden, enjoying the grandchildren ...

Depends on your perspective.

A few years ago Ecumen, the giant Shoreview-based senior housing and services company, compiled a list of graceful aging suggestions from customers and staff. They included such time-honored pieces of wisdom as "get enough sleep," "exercise," "get a yearly checkup," "drink and eat in moderation," "treat others with respect." Those tips, of course, are sound advice for people of any age. Others were a little more specific to older people:

• Realize that although your body deteriorates, your spirit grows stronger if you allow it.

• Dress in current styles. By adding a trendy piece to a classic outfit, you will look and feel good.

• Maintain muscle mass, which will protect you from falling.

• Create milestones and work toward them. No matter how big or small, the journey is a growing experience.
Want more? We decided to ask a few other local people with ties to organizations for older people what "aging gracefully" means to them.

"Coping with the vicissitudes of aging with spirit, dignity and humor," is the succinct summary provided by LaRhae Knatterud, director of Aging Transformation for the Minnesota Department of Human Services.

One of Ecumen's tips was "Practice acceptance. Know that there's a very good chance that your mobility will lessen as you age. Think about how you will deal with that so that when that time comes, you can still live fully."
Nancy Eustis, 71, learned that lesson rather abruptly at age 40, when a car accident left her quadriplegic.

Since then, Eustis has worked on skills such as acceptance, gratitude, optimism, and taking one day at a time. As a retiree, she has been active in local organizations for older people, including Vital Aging Network and the Invisible Force.

"I have goals, projects and involvement with other people," said Eustis, retired professor emerita from the University of Minnesota's Humphrey School. "I try to contribute, I get out of the apartment, and my juices keep flowing."

Graceful aging, like so many other things, can depend on financial security, noted Milford Johnson, 79, a volunteer at the state Council on Black Minnesotans and host of the radio show Senior Perspectives at KMOJ, where he is popularly known as Brother Milford.

In his senior-housing building, "there are women who have buried three husbands and sold three homes. They're growing old rather gracefully. They're out to the Ordway and the Guthrie and other cultural things," Johnson said. "But people living in the poverty sector aren't living that kind of lifestyle. ... If you've got a minimal pension, social security and medicare, then you're living from month to month, for the most part."

Joel Theisen, CEO and founder of Lifesprk (formerly AgeWell) an organization that provides home care and other services for seniors, has problems with the term itself. To him, "aging gracefully" sounds too safe and passive, too much about riding quietly off into the sunset.

"A lot of people want to project the image that we receive in this country of aging. Not to be a burden. Not to do too much to rock the boat," he said. Don't settle for graceful aging, Theisen said. He encourages people to "age passionately," pursuing their interests and dreams with the help of loved ones and community resources.

Think, "What are my passions, what are my priorities, how do I get what I want?" Theisen urged. "I understand I've got some physical limitations, but I've got to find a way to live the way I envision myself living."

Choices Chances And Consequences

While growing up, we all had chances and choices. Chances to be a pilot and whatever career we choose to be. But the choices we made had one way or the other determine the consequences of where we are now. We are free to choose our actions, but we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions. People forget the great power they hold within the power to shape their life. Our life is shaped by the choices we make. We are the one who choose how to live and create paths. Our future will not be determined by the chance, but rather by the choices we made today.

Life is a series of choices. The choices we make now affect the options available for the next round of choices. Learning what to choose and how to choose may be the most important education you will ever receive. There is no such thing as the perfect human. These imperfections that make us human. These imperfections teach us about ourselves and the mistakes we make in life and will teach us how to be a better human. Those who let their mistakes teach them and not rule them are one step closer to becoming the perfect.

Our number one fan is always by our side and that's GOD. God is our major tutor. He does that through our earthly parents. He wouldn't come down and walk us out of dangers neither will he himself show us the ways. He will speak to us either in the dreams or with our everyday activities. He could even speak to us through our environments. The best thing we can do is to always have a listening ear and an obedient heart. Many who are wandering the streets today, it's basically not their wish. They might be too busy to hear God and most importantly taken the ways of God has a foolish one.

It's all as a result of the choices they made when the chances were made available to them. And now they aren't in control of the consequences.

CHANCE according to the dictionary means an opportunity, possibility, random occurrence, luck or the probability of something happening. It could also mean a risk taken. In other words, chances has a synonym of risk. It's either a Yes/No. There's no two way about that. Every chance in life gives an opportunity to choose.

Take for instance, you have a really amazing talent. And then an opportunity came for you to showcase this beautiful talent of yours to the world. That's a chance there. This opportunity comes along with seceral tasks and ways for other talents showcase. Which means it's not just you alone there. That's a risk for you. A risk in the sense that you don't know what's at stake of your talent compared to others. But you've taken the risk to audition. Remember, the wonder struck opportunity comes with amazing gift tag. Don't forget also that's either you win or you lose. Now after all said and done, you emerged winner and you can't believe it.

You made a choice by auditioning for that. That's a risk you weren't sure. The chance was the opportunity you gained through all the stages which brought about the consequence by emerging winner. You couldn't have controlled or had power to become the winner if you weren't. That's why you can't control the consequences that will emerge after chances and choices.

Let's take a good turn at the chances we've lost and the ones that are yet to come. The most important is the choices we make. It could utter our destiny by delaying it. Be wise and remember we shape our lives by the choices we make so choose well. Stay blessed!