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Monday, 8 February 2016

Emotional Violence In Teenagers

Emotional violence occurs when someone says or does something to make a person feel stupid or worthless. Emotional abuse is any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization or any treatment which may diminish the sense of identity and self-worth.

Emotional violence/abuse is also known as psychological abuse. It is also a chronic verbal aggression. You wonder why some have low self esteem? It's because of the emotional abuse they've suffered from which brings about personality change(s) such as becoming withdrawn and may even lead to depression and suicide.

Emotional violence takes turns in may ways just as other violence. And funny enough, these violence comes handy. They are always intertwined. From one violence leads to another and another. Emotional violence takes the form of a cycle. In a relationship, this cycle starts when a partner emotionally abuses the other. By so doing, they show total dominance. The abuser then feels guilt but not from what he/she has done but more over the consequences of his actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for his own behaviour to avoid taking responsibility over what has happened.

Emotional violence often happens in relationships. This could result from:

Name calling

Abusive languages

Blaming all relationship problems on the other person

Using silent treatment

Destroying possessions


Humiliating or making fun of the person


Intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices

Not only in relationship does this happen. It happens within parents and teenagers. We've one way or the other experienced emotional abuse either from the ones I listed above or from others I didn't.
Growing up as a teenager, some parents knowingly and unknowingly do not know the greatest influence they can have on their children is through the emotions. The foundation of a living soul is his teenage years. Whatever you chose to do now, was as a result of one decision or the other you made in your teenage age.

The joy of every parents is to see their child(ren) succeed and even surpass them in the latter years. But do you know you can stop that dream of yours? And you can also reap bountifully from that dream of yours too. Teenage years are years where parents needs to guide and teach so well. No matter how busy you're, there should be a mother and child time you have. Mothers have great influence on a child so like the fathers too. The best thing you can do for a teenager is to encourage him/her. I tell you authoritatively that without this, there's no other way thing you can do.

I give you for instance. When you discover some characters about your child. Why don't you ask other than be quick to judge! This had led many to have outside confidants. A teenager who doesn't see the parent as a confidant and best friend and even role model, check yourself. There's absolutely something you aren't doing right. Your teen should be free with you. Personally, I'm very very close to my Dad than my Mum. There are somethings I can tell my dad which I can't reveal to her. Though she will hear them later but by that time, the temperament would have reduced better than the initial anger she would raise at me if I had told her directly.

You can hurt your teen by hurling abuses and raining discouragements on them. You might not be verbal, but your actions speaks louder than you can imagine. If your teen isn't good in mathematics, despite his repeated failures, don't wail at them. Tell them to try their best and showcase it to you. When they feel your love and interest in everything they do, they will be so happy to do them in the open and be proud to even tell their friends in school. You don't want to imagine the gloomy faces they will wear even when they know anything. But they will be too afraid to tell you because your answers towards them will not even encourage them to do more.
Ask them their day to day activities in school, church, even when they go to parties. Even when they say the darndest thing ever, there are simple and beautiful ways you can change that mindset. You can laugh it off and call them in private and correct them.
The way you can improve your teenage self esteem, praise them in the public and chastise them in the private if you do the otherwise, you might not feel the pain now but later. Don't be too strict in training your teenager. Be flexible as much as you can. You should know how to balance strictness and flexibility.

Invest in your teenager and enjoy your old age. That's my final word as I will be moving on to the next segment of violence. Peace!!!

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