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Monday, 8 February 2016

Physical abuse


A Yoruba woman will say to her child "ti mo ba la ori e mo ogiri" which simply means if I hit your head against the wall. There are many other statements like that that has been voiced out by our mothers. They will say African Mothers. But do you know there are actually some mothers who are capable of doing just as they've said? Even before the statement, the action has already been carried out. Well, it's obviously from their temperaments. You know raising a teenager by most parents, they will describe it as the most toughest time of their parenthood.
They believe when you've finally become a youth, you're man enough to take care of yourself. And that's when they can finally rest.
I've actually heard a woman who said after these two children, I'm not producing more even when the husband wants more. She claimed it's because of the trainings.
My Mum has even said one time that the energy you use In training two boys, you can use that same energy to raise 5 girls. Is that true? Well I don't really concur to that. It's all based on mentality and how fervent we are with our prayers. That teenage age is when he devil will love to strike and it's also the time God wants to use us for his mighty works.
Remember David was a teenager when he rose to prominence. Likewise Joseph too.

But how can you have "isinmi" peace later when you neglect your duties as a parent? Training a teenager takes a lot of energy. But do you know, sometimes, teenagers act the way they do intentionally. On purpose. They could decide to not even do what you asked them to do. And even decide not to do away with the bin. Immediately you leave their room, they return to their video games and all other deliberate actions. Now, it depends on how you choose to treat these issues.
Parents should try not play the blame game when they find their teenagers at fault one way or the other.

That's why I started with the emotional violence. If you decide to scold them and not listen, then you think the next line of action is physical?
A neighbour doesn't beat his male children. They stand man to man like the tyson and mayweather. They throw punches at each other. And I don't need to tell you who the winner is.

When your mum says "ma lu e selese" which means I will beat you mercilessly or your dad says "ma fe lu e pa" I will almost beat you to death. You need to go back and reinforce. Most times they don't mean what they say but they believe that with such statement, they've created a fear in us which will make us do the right thing.
If you ever hear such statements, you need to go back and check. What exactly happened? What were you told to do that wasn't executed?
Some teenagers would like to dare their parents and the results are not always good.

Physical can be as any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person by way of bodily contact. It occur when a part of one's body. Or an object is used to control a person's actions.

Physical abuse includes:

Using physical force which results in pain, discomfort or injury.

Hitting, pinching, hair pulling, arm twisting, strangling, burning, stabbing, punching, pushing, slapping, beating, shoving, kicking, choking, or any other rough treatment.

Assault with a weapon or object.

Threats with a weapon or object.

Deliberate exposure to severe weather or inappropriate room temperatures and

Murder.

Murder is the highest form of physical violence. I hear of different cases of how a teenagers will be burnt with hot iron because of 100 Naira. And this happens everyday. Thank God for Human rights.

I remember vividly of when I was a young dude. My mum would come to my room and whenever she wants to wake me up, it's always with a pinch. This pinch I can't explain but no matter how far you're in the dreamland, you will come back to reality.
Many more things she has done but thank God we can sit and laugh about it now.

Physically abused children and teenagers are always at risk for later interpersonal problems involving aggressive behaviour, and adolescents are much greater risk for substance abuse. Symptoms of depression, emotional distress and suicidal ideation are also common features of people who have been physically abused. Remember I mentioned these in the emotional abuse/violence.

As many as one-third of teenager who experience physical abuse are also at risk to become abusive adults.
Seeking treatments is unlikely for a majority of people that are physically abused, and the ones who are seeking treatment are usually under some form of legal constraint.

Parents can results to better way of scolding their teenager other than physical abuse and violence. Most importantly, when we show love to our teenagers and we continue to pray for them, these actions towards them will reduce because this time around, you aren't the one leading them. It's God leading them through you.

Peace!!!

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