HOTSHOT - EPISODE 1

With the best sound she could get while blending songs into another, she got carried away. A sweet offer could have passed away if she didn't drift her eyes towards her phone. An unknown caller had been ringing her phone for the last time after a couple of missed calls.

"Hello" she said in panic.

"Hello Miss Roseline. We are sorry to have disturbed your busy schedule. I am Roby calling from Basic Cleft. We are only curious to know if you could make it for a personal interview in the next three hours" the manly voice replied behind the phone.

"Why not? Of course I can. I could be there in the next two hours if you don't mind." She struggled placing her words.

"That will be no problem. We will be expectant then" he said and hung up.

Her loud scream attracted her younger brother to her room asking if he was called. He couldn't have heard right because his headphones were loud enough to for the next person seated to hear word for word the music he was listening to.

"Oh yes! I didn't call you but now that you're here, you can be of good help. You will help me edit my CV and add this to it." She directed him on what to do with a stern warning.

"No mistakes! Please I beg of you. This is my life here" she said and hurried to the bathroom.
Few minutes later, he shouted with a question at his bathing sister "How many years of experience big sis?"

"Six months, I think. Just put in there eight months. I know it wasn't up to a year though." The running shower didn't let her hear the rest of his words.

To be called and requested to put up an appearance for a private interview was something close to the best feeling ever for her. This is an organization she's always dreamt of and a very reputable one at that with loads of competition everyday. On her successful return back from the UK after several years of sponsorship and scholarship grants, she's applied to several organizations. Some responded back while others just shelved her application. To those that responded, she never got to the final stage of the interview leaving her to wonder if having a first class degree was ever useful in a time where things are to get better. As a matter of fact, if her mother hadn't insisted on her return, she would have landed herself a very good job in the UK. The beckons were loud with mouth watering offers. But the greatest tool implied by her mother was never to cause a brain drain in her home country. If everyone decided to work outside the country, who then is to develop the country with his own quota of efforts. Well, that worked on her and in no time she booked her ticket back to the country.

So, it was not a new thing to impress and cause whoever was in charge of the interview to have an instant feeling for her through the qualifications stated on her CV. Half an hour gone and she's yet to be on the busy Lagos road. She overheard her brother singing while washing the car outside so she assumed he would be through with his washing before her. She was going to call her mum who was on an occasion somewhere but changed her mind remembering the countless times her phone would ring before getting an answer. Sending a text was the best option.

Fifteen minutes gone by and she's yet to be through with her make up. Letting out a long hiss when she found out she's applied too much foundation on her face. She rubbed off and applied another immediately. Still, she could see through her window that her brother was still washing. She assumed he would be through soonest as she didn't pay close attention to his actions. There she came to the hardest of everything. Her lashes. She could remember the first time she tried that on, she felt an extra weight but soon enough she got accustomed with it.

"Why wear the lashes to the interview?" She said to no one in particular.

"You could give the wrong impression." Her spirit mind answered her.

“I need to give a convincing look and show how capable I am for this position." She replied herself.

Her brother's sudden shout syncing the chorus to his favorite song jeered her and she saw she had spent exactly an hour in her room. She picked her CV and looked round in her room for perfection. Satisfactory remarks she gave herself as she slid her feet into her shoes; flat shoes for comfortability as she preferred them always. On getting outside, she could only let out her frustration and anger through a long stare at her brother who wasn't through with washing the car. Desola gave an innocent look as she hissed and headed out.
She could only have thought with all her hastiness would still be delayed for another hour at the waiting room.

Reminiscing how she had to jump from one bus to another and even pay for an extra seat so they could leave the park after waiting almost thirty minutes with no passenger in sight. Desperation could have only made her do that.
With a typical Nigerian driver with his loud mouth ready to be triggered if pushed by anyone. They don't waste time to hurl unpleasant words at their offender. No one is right in their own perspective except them. No one dare drive in their way except he or she is ready to waste his day on a spot claiming rights.

Gbam! It has happened. The bus driver had just bashed an expensive new model car while having a hearty discussion with his conductor; copilot.

“Pilot, what are we to do now?" He said fidgeting.

In his response, he said in his typical Yoruba dialect “With all your years in Lagos, have I never told you it won't work? Speak the language I hear".

Obviously, the conductor still had his home training and manners intact. One could perceive something led to his current state as copilot. After another forty five minutes gone with the offended and the offender yet to reach an agreement. On another hand was a faction ready to drag the poor copilot into a deep mess if he doesn't refund their money as everyone was in a haste. Desola confused, could only walk away from the scene and eventually walk a while before getting to the state owned commercial bus station.

The double glass door flung open as she alighted at her final destination. She could see the company far ahead as she sighed and said “I wonder why I didn't board this in the first instance" she hissed at her statements conclusion.

“Ma'am you can go in now. The HR is ready to meet you" the front desk staff said with a bright smile. Tired Desola walked majestically with her hearts racing faster than a rotor into what seemed to be compared to as her own living room.

In a small house she lived, she would have thought their living room was the biggest in the world not until she saw this.

“Please have a seat." The HR manager said with a sip from her coffee and Desola responding with a kind gesture. As rigorous as the interview seemed to her, it only took the HR manager nothing less than five minutes assessment.

“I am impressed with what I've seen so far and I must say you're the right person for this position with such a huge qualification. I do hope you know that this position is such a humongous one. The shoes left behind aren't small to wear so you must be on the alert anytime and any day to work your bones for the company" she said without lifting her eyes from the CV before her.

“Please, I will be back in a jiffy" she rolled herself away from the chair. Only if Desola knew what that meant. Thirty minutes gone and she wasn't back. Fifteen minutes added and she was still not near her sight. What seemed like forever, she was becoming bored as her anxiety was almost weaning off.

The door flung open and a gentle man walked in with series of blue files containing audited accounts waiting for a signature to be appended. Blessed with a nicely built physique, Desola could only begin to imagine the number of male workers she would meet, number of friends she would have to keep up with when she resumes work.

“You're the new financial manager I suppose? Please do me the favour of appending your signature on these documents" he said with a very broad smile as he proceeded in laying the documents before her. She could only open her mouth wide in full blasts of amazement.



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OUR PARENTS; THE IMAGE WE CANNOT DO WITHOUT.

I have uncountable times been told by people how I am the splitting image of my father and by my mum how much I am the splitting image of my dad's 'character'.

Neither of the two are wrong as I have reviewed and revised those of his I need to take with me and those I have but need to change overtime. You can say 'it is in the genes'. Well said.

And whenever I hear my mum 'abuse' my brother, I just laugh. She has also forgotten he's the splitting image of hers and character too. Often times I jest to her that she doesn't know she's seeing herself.

But have you wondered about a child raised by a single parent?

Hardly will you see them take after the counterpart's character which later would be a problem for them. That is because the person before them is a mirror placed everyday at anytime and anywhere. Even when they wish not to see them, they are there. You cannot take that away and you will also wonder why when you're being asked which you prefer amongst your parent. The reason you will opt for one and not the other is because you see that person more often than the other. That person is always there even when you're asleep to check you. You need a listening ear? You run to that person. You cannot do without going to that person.

If only we know the dangers we put our children into when such things like divorce and single parenting happen, I am sure we will fight to the last never for that to occur. These are things we wish not to happen but on what measure have we taken before such happen? Let's always remember we are not living for ourselves but for our children. They are the future God has placed in our hands to nurture. Why then is there so many chaos in the world?

THIS IS BECAUSE THE DEVIL HAS MANAGED TO DISINTEGRATE THE FAMILY BY ALL MEANS. To some extant he has succeeded and to another extent he hasn't. He has succeeded to those who don't know the impact of FAMILY.

If we want PEACE to REIGN in the LAND, then we need to teach every family member of ours LOVE. Our parents are who God has placed before us and we should take in their steps.

Labi'sThoughts

CORPER SHUN 1

My inner most me couldn't hide the joy I had knowing I was finally through with a seven year course. It has been rough, smooth and many hard times. Let me just say many waters have passed under the bridge. Though my first year in school was the best and the worst. I wouldn't have been called out for a first class award amongst many other accolades. I quickly tamed myself after I knew the university is totally different from secondary school. Thinking by raising hands to show you are brilliant was the best way to go. Not until I was invited and accosted on several occasions by some big guys on campus. Well, that's story for another moment.

I heard my name called out by a colleague. He beckoned on me to come be a part of a group photograph as I was the head of my department, there was literally no picture I didn't appear in. Extended to other departments.

"Mom meet Ayodele" Sarah tapped me from behind and introduced me to my mom. Well just to say that was my first gig on gaining admission into the university. From her manner of introduction, I could sense she was still over me. On countless basis we've argued and ironed out I was no longer interested in our relationship. Just platonic friendship will be okay. That was then. Maybe now that I am through, I could reconsider.

"Good afternoon ma" I feigned to prostrate when her mum quickly shoved her hand to me for a handshake. Well, that I could say; I was highly welcome. I could hear Sarah saying he's the boy I have always mentioned about to you. He is kind, caring. She rolled out all adjectives and even dished out some characters I wasn't sure I had. Maybe in the future days to come. Maybe. And in response, her mom said "whoa!". Not to sabotage the atmosphere, I played along like I was acting a script. And then the usual "she has said a whole lot about you and I can see she never told a lie". Literally I died and woke up and died again. So Sarah had been doing offline advertisement for long without charges.

"Do you mind I invite you for dinner? I must say. As a form of appreciation for taking care of my daughter". What did I just hear? I looked at Sarah and she was thirty two teeth out smiling for Africa. "It's God ma. I wouldn't have done that if she too didn't show a trait of a good girl from a good home." I emphasized on the good home and concluded with "it's in the blood ma"

I skipped giving a reply accepting the humble proposal. As a sharp dude that I am, I launched my missile of escape by saying I needed to join another group photograph and organize my department for that. Group photograph that I had partaken. I hissed in my mind.

"Okay dear. No problem about that. But don't forget about the dinner. I will pass any information concerning that through Sarah". BOOM! My missile hit perfectly.

Soon we headed home and I slept all through the journey. The loud sound crack from our gate woke me up. I turned my hand like it was a rotor just to check my wristwatch. Obviously I wasn't awoken fully. Did our dog Harpo also knew that day was my convocation? He welcome us very differently. He kept on wagging its tail and insisted he followed us in. Good things are contagious.

"Congratulations brother". I received a warm hug from my sister who couldn't come because she had an exam. I thanked her and staggered myself to the bedroom. My head was very heavy and all I wanted was to sleep. Talk about food; I care less. Shower; that will be tomorrow. I would bathe everything tomorrow. I was so lazy because of the pint of alcohol I had. I am allergic to alcohol but I kept on deceiving myself saying the capacity of my head can withstand any gigabyte of alcohol. Well, there I was.
The following day was a Saturday. I got up from bed past eleven and I was shocked at the gory sight of my bed. I had thrown up everywhere. Not that alone, I even rolled myself in that piece of rubbish. What a total shame on me. I knew the next line of action and any second later, my mum been the usual visitor to my room can show up anytime coupled with the fact that I hadn't gone downstairs and it's late in the morning. True to that, I heard her stamping towards my room. She paused and would walk again. That phone call must have been either important or very interesting. I dashed in and out of my bathroom, searched my wardrobe and in less than thirty seconds, I was done. I am left with one thing. The smell on my body. But by then she was close to my doorstep.
She heard the rush from the tap in the bathroom and said "Ayo you're still bathing? Be fast about it and breakfast is ready". It worked. If I didn't open the tap, she would have barged into my room. After confirming her steps were withdrawn. I eventually went to bathe and would do justice to the bed spreadings later.

"Ayodele, I just spoke with Mr. Hassan and he said your call up letter will be ready in three weeks time". I was still transiting down the stairs when he said that.

"Morning dad"

"Hmmm... Good morning" his mouth full of food he struggled to reply.

"I hope you didn't forget our agreement dad". I smiled and adjusted the chair. He looked at me like he was induced. I winked at him and tried all gestures to keep my mum in the dark but to no avail. This time, my mum was already aware of our gestures and asked why she's been kept in the dark.

"Nothing mum. I already asked him for a favor which he promised and it's nothing too serious".

"Ayo, you know me well oo. By the time I pounce on your dad, he will vomit that secret appointment you both have". The drama queen we have in our house; I begged her not to pounce on him. Before she will pounce on him, he should have fulfilled his promise then she can go ahead.

"You see my wife, when men decide to talk it means you women are excluded. Which is why me and my son would discuss later on that". She laughed and said "have you forgotten I birth both of you? Including Tope. So I am your mother and I demand to know something if not everything".




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PAINS OF A GROWN MAN

FINAL EPISODE



"But you know Dad, God has ever been faithful and he has never stopped showering his grace on us" I said with a cruel face mixed with chuckles as I stared at my Dad. I needed the right time to burst out and just get clarity of the whole thing. I was actually wounded and bitter at his insolence to us his family. You don't expect me to go through that letter and remain calm. All these while, balls of sweat never stopped forming on my face and streamed down to my chin. My Mom kept asking if I was okay and stressed. She asked me to have enough rest and need be to excuse myself from the table I should do so. I feigned I needed not all that. And then I quickly thought. Maybe I would ask him privately about it. That would be better and save him the embarrassment especially before his grandchild.

But you know, sometimes you can't cheat time travel. No matter how smart you are. If indeed you're as clever as a tortoise, nature can't be cheated.
But there and then was nature ready to pull out a game. It was about to outclass us. It was right there my Mom asked me about Regina whom she saw me with about three or four years ago and asked if I was really into her. I gave her the affirmative and she asked further why I haven't done the needful. I smiled and looked at Dad.

"Well, that's because I don't think I am ready to manage two families".
My dad was staring at me like what's going on.

Everyone wondered too by what I meant. And they asked me to elaborate more. Then I looked at David. Felt sorry in me for him and never planned it. But the truth needed to be told and heard. Assumptions is the lowest form of knowledge. So in other to be cleared I asked Dad

"How does it feel managing two families? Knowing that your attention will be divided and your heart is split?". At that moment I asked the question, I felt cold. Maybe a sign of sudden hatred or regret. I wouldn't have known.

"Dear what is he talking about?" Mom asked with a squeezed face. Almost depleting.

"You're stressed my son. You need enough rest and that will be..." I cut him off with tears in my eyes.

"Well, things are about to get serious now". Joe said with rapt attention and gaze fixed on me.
"Come on Dad! You know exactly what I am taking about" he denied knowing anything and I brought out the brown envelope. Slipped it across the table to him and he got shocked. He looked me straight in my eyes before steadily giving everyone a gaze in his usual slow motion that stopped on my mom's.

"Beatrice" he started slowly with sweats formed on him like he was drowned in a pool.

"But how did you find out about this? And this has nothing to do with you. So you have been going everywhere searching for what's not lost?" He summoned the dutch courage and talked back at me. Fear gripped me at his utterance and I was guilty.

"Jay" as she fondly called him. "You were about saying something. Yeah! I am all ears". She balanced her chin on her palms. There was silence as he shoved his glasses at interval from his nose back to his eyes which was sliding away due to the sweats. He kept reading what was in his hands. That scene wasn't funny. I saw a different side of my father. The brave one and the feeble one. I didn't understand which one I needed to settle for.

"I was going to talk about this at the right time" he folded the envelope with his head bowed. Everyone had lost appetite obviously but our miniature man at the table was still fiddling with plates and cutleries. I kept on giving him gaze and thankfully he got hold of his dad's phone and he remembered there used to be a bicycle by the waterside. That was how he ran off. I think that was enough for my father to have summoned courage as he exposed everything.

"I have a child and a woman outside, Beatrice". The laughter that bursted out of my mom's mouth was contagious. It caught Joe immediately and I could tell it was infested.

Really? I thought. Laughing at a big confession was the right thing to do? "Look I am serious here. But that was a long time ago" he stammered.

"A long time ago doesn't mean it has been erased off history or from the book of memories. Well, you better start talking now and I will appreciate you don't miss a thing out of it" Now those were enough subtle threats from the drama queen herself.

Dad explained in his words it happened when he was transferred to Ghana. He met with a lady who was his chaperon in his first few days there. She happened to work there also and he being the tall and handsome guy, he was everyone's choice. He recalled how she would come to his house to cook and teach him some Ghanian dance steps. He became fond of her a lot and he would never go a day without calling her. No matter how hectic the day was, he would put a call through. On several occasions they would go to the beach and have some time to themselves. It appeared as though, she was God sent. He finally made up his mind after years of been together with her and stepped up his game. He defined their relationship on one of those days she came around to lay his bed. He couldn't resist and flee.
Months later she came back to tell him she was a month and three weeks pregnant and they quickly fixed a date for their wedding. At first, the sensation and feelings everyday felt like a new beginning. Not until few months into their marriage she tendered her resignation letter. He was shocked and surprised and asked her why she didn't tell him before doing that. At least they've been living together as man and wife and for such an enormous decision, she should have respected that he's still her husband. He told her she can't go just like that. Her response was she's not only leaving the company but also leaving him for good. No back up and solid reason for that. He had never maltreated her not for a second. Then she came back after few months with a divorce litigation. He lost the case and he filed to have custody of his child. He failed too. And that has been bitter in his heart for a very long time.

He begged and asked we forgive him. Not that he wouldn't tell us, but it wasn't something to be proud of. He has no joy in telling it. He felt maybe by his bed side; on his journey out of the world, he would reveal but I guess the dining was actually the bed side he referred to. He was still begging when my mom stood up angrily with tears. Where she went to, I don't know. Joe followed her. I remained at the table with him and we kept on stealing glances at ourselves.

"So I have an older brother" I said out finally. As unbelievable as it sounds, it was the bitter pill I would swallow effortlessly. I still couldn't imagine I emanated from a polygamous family. This has been the pains he's inflicted on himself. He never knew she was really not after the marriage or his love.

But as our Lord forgives us, so we should forgive ourselves and brethren that have erred us. It's complicated.

"I am sorry Dad. I shouldn't have said it out at all. Or brought it open at the table". He nodded at me.

"Anytime is the right time. I am sorry too". We hugged each other and went on the search hunt for my mum. The pains he had to face to have a gathered and put family. Then I knew it isn't easy to be a man. And it's not a day Job.

PEAZOUT



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PAINS OF A GROWN MAN

EPISODE TWO

I walked down with mixed feelings. On my way to Senior baritone's, I could hear "this isn't my knicker. Mine isn't as new like this". Should I stop and check or just continue. I recorded their bed space in my head and if I forget, I would just playback.

"Where's my balance?" Senior baritone asked.

"Your balance?" I stood trembling like a wet chicken.

I explained to him I had used it to buy sachet water.

"How much is now a sachet and going by your claims, why am I seeing just two sachet here?".

Under the cold and heavy downpour, I was sweating. What got me very scared was the manner and way he rose from his bed. I knew I was doomed. Matrix slow motions were nothing compared to his and my mind raced to my dad. The same thing he would do when he's angry.

"How do I explain now? How many explanations will I give before it will get sunk into his head? What can I do to calm him down?"

Different thoughts in my head. Probably I would give him my own money. But he would think I was lying. That wouldn't have been possible in the first place because I don't keep monies with me. They are always with my guardian. He finished his slow motion and sat right across me. I knew he was looking at me but my head was bent firmly.

He cleared his throat and I fretted again.

"He is about to talk. Listen carefully" one guy in my head said.

"You see ehn, that two hundred naira is my last change and I don't know how you're going to go about the remaining balance. All I want is my" he paused.

"In short ehn, I no need the balance." He pushed forward the cassava flour and sugar and asked me to bring the two hundred naira to him. Failure to do so attracts me to serve him for days. There I was still kneeling after he's dismissed me.

Three years later I left the school and went to reside with my parents outside the country. I couldn't cope any longer with the animal treatment we the juniors were inflicted with. It was as though a continuous trend that I would do that to my younger ones but that trait wasn't imbibed in me.

I heaved a very heavy sigh as I walked through the store. Gave me memories of times I ran through looking for nothing in particular. The old big black discs, boots and the scents that emanated from the books stacked like it was meant for generations afterwards. Slowly I paced about the store and I saw another surprising thing.
A brownish envelope sealed tightly and as I picked it to check, it obviously showed it hadn't been open ever. Slowly and gently as I wondered, I saw a cupboard opened. A huge black crawling thing moved out quickly. That was a mice. I adjusted myself and prepared the enveloped folded out like I was a minister addressing the Nation on Power.
I read through and I never imagined that I could shed tears. I couldn't believe what I read neither could I phantom if it were true or not. And he never said anything about it. He played his tricks well and what was in my hands clear fact of what seems like a trend almost passing unto me too. That makes my suspicions right. I braced myself and went into the living room where everyone was merrymaking and celebrating.
We had come together as we do annually. Thanksgiving.

It was on a Friday and we would be leaving for the States on Monday. I walked in to the living room and headed straight for the dining table.

"Hey Marcus, where have you been? We've looked everywhere for you. What happened? You looked stressed". My dad joyfully said and before I walked in, they had enough jokes to go round.
Balls of sweats formed on my face and I quickly wiped it off. But they kept coming and I excused myself to change into a more lighter dress. I returned back to the dining and right on time the turkey was about to be served.

"Tell me brother Marcus, how has the promotion been? I am sorry I haven't really had time to extend greetings formally". Joe my younger brother said as he cuts.

"I know right? We are in different states and I am very much aware how hectic work has been for you too. Let's just say the promotion has sweet and enticing also has it own headaches". I munched a carrot.

"You see I was just like you son" dad pointed his fork towards me. "I worked my whole life here in New York. Maybe not my whole life but I spent my reputable years of service here before I was transferred out." He laughed.

"I was taken out of this coast to the African continent. I was told to go and head a newly opened branch in Ghana. Tema to be precised."

"Wasn't that where you met momma? I remember she made mention of that one time she told me a story of where love can be found" Joe said with a side chuckle.

"Love indeed" I uttered with seriousness on my face.

"You're right my boy. I am very certain she did justice to that story your mother told you. The good thing is she came into my life at a point where I had lost everything except the breathe of life"

"Whoa!" Joe's son, David who had been quiet suddenly exclaimed. I had even forgotten he was right there at the table with us. His wife Rebecca had to attend to an urgent and private meeting so she couldn't come along with him to the thanksgiving. Excuse well justified. She even called while we we and she made sure she greeted everyone and expressed her apologies again. Coming next thanksgiving would be more like an ignorant attitude so she promised to come visit Dad and Mom by the following Saturday.




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PAINS OF A GROWN MAN

EPISODE ONE

"Dear me, I want to grow to achieve a whole lot. I have just begun another phase of life and I have less than six years to choose the ending. Either with success or otherwise. I am really enjoying this phase of my life. Less troubles. I mean I am no longer at home running errands. I am not cruel for being happy but at least it would make my legs grow thinner so I can be tall enough".
I sat dumbfounded with smiles partly as I reminisced about the letter.

This was the letter I wrote several years ago on gaining admission to junior secondary school. The experience was magnificent. Well that was good enough to have thought as I was still a newbie and having spent less than three weeks, I believe I am justified for writing that. Then, the whole boarding life stories I have heard never happened and I assumed everything was superstitions to scare the feeble like me. I remember the first time I was called by a senior in my dormitory and was sent on an errand, I was happy and fulfilled doing it. Probably he was too tired to go outside because the journey to the gate is so discouraging you would almost feel like your bed space should be situated there.
I came back and gave to him what he had sent me. On turning my back, I heard a sound like a whistle and "hey" accompanied.

"Go and get me fifty naira sugar with a hundred naira cassava flour. And when returning, stop at mummy Jessica to buy sachet water". That baritone voice would never make me doubt or think twice of giving a No as an answer or say "I was just returning from there please send another". Besides, the joy was still there burning very eloquently.

I got to mummy Jessica's and there I remembered I didn't ask how much sachet water I needed to buy. I assumed with that amount of cassava flour and sugar, he would need enough water. So I used the balance to get sachet water. Jogging made it easier for me to reach the hostel faster. I cheated the sun and never really felt any rise in temperature. I got to his bed space and didn't meet him there. Ordinarily, I knew I would wait to avoid telling stories that will tickle the nose. Ten minutes gone and the clouds are gathering. I looked outside the window and it was getting darker. I quickly dropped the contents in my hands and rushed outside to the cloth line. Everyone was panicking and so was I.

"Who took my panties?" I heard that from the girls' hostel blocks away. I laughed and wondered if the person was conscious of what she uttered out.

"All she need to do is to ask people now. Probably a sister's keeper had helped her". I thought out loud. In minutes, I was left alone and I could see my remaining clothes on the line. But something was very odd. I remembered I had spread my sport wears; both pairs. Also with my three pairs of uniform and five pairs of socks. I had each uniform for a day alongside my socks.
I stood there for minutes trying to figure out what happened. My two shorts were missing and a pair of socks. I couldn't unravel what exactly to do. It was then I remembered the cry of the agonized lady from the female hostel. Then I began to laugh uncontrollably. Everything happened within a flash and it looked like I was just alone in the world. I laughed continuously not minding the bitter clouds that had formed and was ready to bless the grounds.

"But how do I go about this?" I thought after gaining momentum of myself. I searched my bag to be sure maybe I had loss of memory for that time. "I washed it this morning" was the new anthem on my lips. I kept on staring and looking at the people entering and moving out. Those with clothes, I stopped them to ask and search too. But it happened no one was with it. I sat on my bed looking into thin space wondering what next to do. I know for sure I can't tell my Uncle's wife. But of my Uncle; I can. But before he gives me, he would scold and tell my mum. So that option was left out.

I sat helplessly with my hands behind me on the bed like that of a tent support. My head bowed and I felt a tap on my shoulder.



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DESIRES FINAL EPISODE

Few months down and then I realized everyone here was totally different from the previous.

Though we clash sometimes but above all, there's a friendly atmosphere that always reigned and sincerely I felt like I was in a different clan. We were all one big family. Apparently, this who frowned at me being their boss all of a sudden began to see that life is sweeter if they take away all the seriousness and hatred. Most times, I would receive a call from a colleague and we would joke that she's not jumping bus or needing to take her car to the office. She would follow me home. It was all cool and we always saw each other as equal. There was no reason to be coveted of anything and that's how smoothly we rose from been the sorted agency to becoming the most sorted agency.

Life is such an irony. I have had two instances where the Staffs from my previous place of work would come to our agency to seek for professionals and expatriate for their company. Well they didn't know me so I needed not to cause any stir or familiarity whenever they were around.

One faithful day, Mr X as I fondly called him came into my office for an important signature that needed my attention. We don't see often because he's on the last but one floor while I was at the middle floor. Moreover, his department was totally different from mine. Even if we were the most important of all. He smelled nicely and he actually said he will be back for something else. I thought to myself what exactly he meant. After all, you've gotten what you needed and I'm done with you. I didn't doubt much because that was unusual of him. He was the serious type and I feel that.

Lo and behold, he returned to my office with a coffee. How does he know I love brown coffee? His was black coffee. His response "I know how tiring this work is so I decided not to be selfish and share something to soothe ourselves". This Mr X, your mother must have been literature inclined or Queen's English learned. I blushed a bit and said "thank you".

We got talking and I noticed something in all he said. He was religious. There was nothing he said without giving biblical references and at first I got a bit uncomfortable and wanted to ask him out of the office politely but his charms drowned me to my seat and I kept on listening with rapt attention. Maybe not his charms but the irresistible power of God.

He is the fun guy and he said "who says Jesus children can't be fun?".

In my mind I was like so this Mr X knows every bit of the fun. I chuckled thinking our thoughts were same. At least I have found a partner who claims he knows Jesus but still loves fun. So I asked him. "What's your type of drink?"

He replied saying "its water and nothing alcoholic".

I wanted to puke and rage asking if he thought I was a small child and I can be fooled. You just claimed you are the Jesus boy and you are the fun one. Yet I only fought those thoughts in my head before the land phone rang. There we parted to our destinations. He went back to his office and I went to the store manager's too. That conversation died there. And I prayed silently he doesn't bring that up again. I still wanted to know and ask him but I had this mightier force that kept forcing those questions back into my belly.

We got used to each other and became fond of ourselves year in year out. We soon became like we had known each other from our mother's womb. Though he would always laugh at my crazy lifestyle and would just say "when are you going to change"? I won't pick offense though. Reason, he was always saying that while he laughed. So I took that as no form of seriousness.

And I would reply him saying "it's whenever you want me to change". Meanwhile, all these years he still hasn't known my house. He was so close one day but I scattered everything before his very eyes. He trailed me down as I drove into my estate. My dream house. But because he was stopped at the gate for permit, I escaped his whip. I wouldn't have known because his car was different from the one I knew him with.

Few days after that he told me. Until when nature said it was hightime he knew my house.
He planned a surprise birthday party for me and connived with my colleagues.
I was in my living room with Lola who was running her usual check up on me. She was surprised to see my BP had dropped from the usual high rise. She was smiling and asked inquisitively how it came about that. I said "I've been laughing more than I ever thought". Told her I never stopped taking the fruits she administered to me. And boom I saw my door flung open. My colleagues.

They did their merriment and I begged to ask. "Who planned this?"

Then I saw Cherry opened the door and was beckoning on someone to follow her in. I fell to my knees on sighting this man. Why are you always in my picture? He smiled and greeted everyone like he didn't knew them before. You might ask me how Cherry came about knowing Mr X.

Childhood friends.

What a small world. But what baffled me was that knowing Cherry with her extravagant lifestyle that mine can't be compared to, he still calls himself the Christian dude. From then henceforth, I started calling him Jesus boy instead of his name; Debo. He would smile and say you too will soon be Jesus girl.

That following week, we talked about it all through. Knowing him was fun and he made me see another side to fun. He would never stop surprising me with gifts and everything that can sweep a woman off her feet. There was no way I wouldn't have fallen in love with him. At a time I saw it as obsession and tried to dismiss me loving him. But it never went away. Until one certain day he asked me what I thought of him.

"Oh! Girl. Did he just ask you that"? I asked myself.

I felt like to bring out a pen and foolscap sheet and write them out. The list is long and countless. He would never hurt a fly. He would never despise my little corrections. He would never feel my opinions; as foolish as it may be doesn't matter or is less important. He would never cease to make my head swell. He was good at making me drool. He made me know this life is worth living without complicating it more. He made me understand who I was. He made me see a lot of potentials I never dreamt I had. He was ready to push me to my success and beyond. He never saw a great deal in my past and was ready to move on. As a matter of fact, he made me know those pasts were blunders and should be learnt from. And they should never be brought into the future. Even if I would always refer to his past some other times, he would get angry and then I would realize I shouldn't have said that. I was still used to that lifestyle of blaming others and judging on their pasts.

Then and there he defined our relationship and few months down, he proposed. I cried till my eyes were swollen before I could say the dramatic yes. I saw the fear in him thinking I might say otherwise. Giving the reply, I saw Cherry crying too. Was I worth all these? Was I good enough for him? I was nowhere near being a little good let alone the best for him and yet he still showed me love. He never forgot to make me know my worth.

We have our arguments but yet we always had it in my Hearts that we agree to disagree and disagree to agree. And we had the heart that was ready and willing to forgive even before apologies were tendered. That way, it was easier and with the strength and grace of God almighty.

Meanwhile I had become born again. That doesn't stop me from having fun. All these while I was in the world, I didn't know about the truth. And the truth came to me at its own will.

He made me know my DESIRES all these while were just child's play. All my DESIRES was to live large and enjoy the whole world at my finger snap. And in the quest of doing that, I fell deeply into the pit of more damages. And kept on wallowing till I couldn't scream of help anymore. My DESIRES of owning my dream house was nothing compared to the one we moved into after our wedding. Only if I had known ANXIETY was the root cause, I would have not bothered and worried so much about the future. It was later I knew he was from a well to do family. He only disguised with all his average lifestyle.

We never stopped traveling every vacation. Lets just say the world was at my feet. We explored together and many things we accomplished together. I have always seen and wanted a house and not a home.

I am so glad he did. We are married with five lovely children. Three boys and two Adorable.


PEAZOUT



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DESIRES EPISODE 8

"You are not the supervisor anymore" he began.

"There was a misread in your CV. And right now we are very impressed with what's written in there. So we are saying you are the head of supervising unit."

My heartbeat bounced to normal and beyond cold before regaining stability. He expressed his apology thinking I was offended. I laughed in my head only if he knew what that meant. That's more money and more life to live. Who says I won't have this fun to the end?

He stood to stretch his hands of gratitude and I warmly received it with wholesome gladness. While on my way to the office, I saw mixed reactions written boldly on some staff's face and some others just continued with what they were paid to do. On getting to my door post, the tag on it had been changed. I smiled peacefully and said "welcome to my world". All I did that day was to tell my secretary to forward all documents to me via my email and not to forget to copy me to any email she needed to send to clients because I will not allow the former to repeat itself here. Not at all. I couldn't wait for the time to tick its long hands to the six 0' clock mark. It seemed pretty fast and slow at the same time. The most important thing; I was enjoying the moment.
It was time to sign out and as I appended my signature calmly, a male staff walked up to me. I noticed the view got darker while I was signing. And as I turned, I realized it was this handsome looking young man's shadow that had been raveling on the book.

He looked tall enough for every ambitious lady to notice and grab at first sight. His smile was heavenly. Oh my! I do find it difficult to guess people's age at first sight but this time the figure erected before me looked like he was in his mid twenties. Let me say a bit about his suit. His two piece Tom Ford suit was the best to have fit him. Whoever was his stylist, I doff my hat.

He gave a big grin and lowered his upper body to sign out too. Then I noticed his briefcase held firmly by his hand. The back palm veins were visible enough and I could imagine how that was. I watched him closely for few minutes before leaving. Few meters outside the compound, I saw his car pulled over before me. And a gentlemanly voice said "those legs can be stressed some other time. Why not save it now by hopping in and I become your chauffeur?" That was totally different from the usual pick up lines I've heard ever. I made him understand I have my own car but as a newbie in a giant company like that, I wouldn't think it's very appropriate to ride in my car for the first few months. He shook his head, smiled at me and concentrated on the road.

The first thing I notice in humans is their walking steps. As he came by to my door to open, his walk steps were like that of a popular Korean actor whom I have this heavenly crush on. I began seeing him in that image and it worked for me.
He bowed a bit and said "your majesty" as he shut the door. I felt a bit embarrassed and immediately waived it. A voice said "enjoy the moment while it lasted". He asked me why I decided to stop not at my house and instead take a cab back home.

I just said "I needed to catch up with someone before returning to the house". I'm glad he didn't push further to know why or offer to take me to that friend's house. Of course I have been wiser in the few years I have spent with men. I will never allow a man know my house because I have this grudge for men that they aren't always true to whatever they say. It's whenever they wanted something they become humble. Even though I have moved in from my brutal and mannerless relationship, it's still not easy never to think of it again. And each time, it reminds me of how single life is bundled with less stress and many other gravity to make you forget fun. At least if I needed to bond, I have my Cherry all day any time.
I didn't allow myself to be buried swiftly as I quickly reminded myself of the former.

He was as handsome but not too handsome and he was all I ever wanted. He seemed cool at first sight until few months down the ride I noticed many things in him. Things he did and would promise to change for the better and it would increase gravely instead of quenching. He was always insecure and to express his insecurity, he would batter me and immediately use the Love to cover up. I was blind and kept on assuming that was because of how much I loved him so I can endure. But the saying, "if you can't change them before marriage, don't expect a miracle to happen" was true after all. I would have allowed it to pass not until I received a cold shock that landed me into my new fun.

Drinking.

I got to start drinking because of him and got used to the club life because of him. There was no Friday that would pass without us in the heat of the club. We would party away and dance till no one even cares. I was enjoying every bit of it. It stayed in my head and he actually made me feel I was wrong about being the introvert. I was always jeered by him whenever I danced. He would say "look at my introverted girl teaching me some dance moves". I would laugh and increase the tempo even more. He never had a house of his own. So he squatted with me. We were so into each other that I even bequeathed all I have to him. That was where I saw the beast in him. Most times, when his insecurities played out, I see the sincerity in his apologies and just don't want to break up with this cool guy. Although, he had taught me many things in the negative way. Not until I came across a book where I read "if one doesn't touch or affect you positively, or doesn't make you see the best in yourself, then you need to find a new circle". That hit me like a stone from David. Fortunately, he was seated beside me and I looked straight into his eyes. He asked me what went wrong and I just stood up angrily to my room. I cried having known the truth but that wasn't enough to make do with him.

On a faithful Saturday morning. I was awoken by a loud thud banged at my main door.

Guess whom it was?

It was a woman with a baby boy standing beside her. I asked her what she wanted and she said her husband.
The nerves on my forehead began to be visible and swell. They were about to burst. I thought it was a dream. I asked her to come in and there she narrated everything. I thanked her and promised her as soon as she leaves, she will see her husband escort her behind.

And that was how I became devoured and devastated. I never trusted men anymore. I never saw any good reason to be in a relationship. I began to see all men as the same. Even though that was enough fact for me to have pushed him out, I was still safe a bit. He saved me the stress by not denying to the allegations. And I never heard of him again.

So I wouldn't want to fall prey of this heavenly down to earth handsome man again. Once beaten twice shy is the banner placed boldly on my forehead. For my reading only.




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DESIRES EPISODE 7

As I walked down to the HR manager's office, I could feel my heartbeat thumping loudly from my chest through my mouth and the waves it connived with my ears. Each steps I took was like ice water was shoved down to my spine. I wouldn't have thought it was a begin again.

Back to the time I was on leave, fighting and struggling with the doctor's prescriptions and manner of way to go with my health scare and challenges, I was least expecting where I bake my bread will just vanish into thin air. "With my years of service here and commitment? Just like that you ask me to go?". I was so angry with everything. I became more frustrated and vented my anger on anything and anyone. His manner of approach was even disgusting to tell I was not needed anymore. I was hoping to be received and warmly welcomed into my office and get full gists of what I've missed. Only for me to return to the office and meet new faces. Yes new faces all over the company. At first I thought finally our company had started recruiting IT students and internees.

But then I became furious and try to understand what was happening when I didn't see my name on the call. I went immediately into the manager's office and there I saw him with another man seated on his chair. He would never ever allow such to happen. I begged to be explained and made known to the foul smell in the air. And there he stood firmly like a footballer whom was ready to take a free kick. With his hands placed firmly on his waist, I heard from the figure sat on the chair saying "we were just about sending you a mail and to put a call through".

"Yes there have been some changes demanded by from the top and you know with the challenges in the company, we just had to lay everyone off".
"Including you? So the sin of one man should affect everyone? Including the innocent?" I said back.

I now know what my mother always told me was true. Each time she will make us understand that whenever my younger ones are at fault on something, I won't be left out of scolding too. And now it's happening in the real life.

"Yes. I am putting him through and working with him for a while till I am out." He sighed.

"I will be out completely in a few days. I know it's been hard and will be tougher in the latter days".

"Who does that? Just like that you lay off every worker who had spent nights building this company and making it what it is now? You forget their years of stewardship and steadfastness?" I was very angry.

He pulled me out of the office and explained further to bugert that point I was no longer interested in anything. I needed to go home and just think. But before I left, he handed me the sack letter and there the tears began to flow endlessly. He pulled me closer and for the first time I felt warmth from a man's embrace.

"I will always keep in touch with you" he said slighlty above his pitch as I walked out hurriedly.
And here I am seated before a fierce looking man. Waiting for his first words as I knew I had lost confidence in whatever question he would ask me. I was furious and agitated at busy man who won't spare a minute away from his laptop and take a glance at me the poor lady. I made sure I formed the pity face well enough.

"You are exactly what we need and according to your years of working experience, you are qualified". Finally he spoke out. I was amazed at him saying I was qualified. He didn't even ask me what I thought he would because the answers were already sucked up in my head.
I was earth shaken when I heard the range at which he began the salary negotiation. My head swirled and I just kept opening my mouth agape. Could it be as a result of the urgency in the company? If it was then there's no supernatural power creates or yet to be created that would halt me from jumping at that offer.

As a girl child, that had always been my dream. I soon began thinking of better cubicle and moving out from my carton I called a house. With such amount I knew what I could achieve within a month and would still remain. As I drove home, I made sure my eyes were glued to every billboard and other mediums of advertisement. Then I remembered there was a particular house I saw at the G.R.A not far from my estate of residence.
I trafficated to take the next exit, I landed into trouble.

That was how I saw an old figure smiling from a red car. I didnt recognise at first sight. She had changed her car already. Her voice calling my name made me know who it was.
I have a very troublesome aunt who wouldn't give me any breathing space. I have told her countless times when I feel or need her to be around I will give her a call. She was just returning from a mart and she said she was free for the day. That was how she drove behind me. I forgot my mission for that moment as I pulled over. We both got down from the car and we talk for hours straight up. When I couldn't bare the pains felt by my small legs, I begged to take my leave giving the excuse that I needed to see a mason whom I had arranged for earlier.
I drove back home and knew right at first action is to spoil myself. After all I have recuperated well and I can take alcohol. Offloading the ingredients from the store into the kitchen I was set for a good dish of coconut rice garnished with everything and anything you can think of. I put into practice my culinary gotten from my mother.

I only have three days left to resume my new place of work. At every gap rest from the kitchen, I was with a bottle beside me and on my phone was my curiousity checking out latest building designs in the posh areas of my dreams. I got my eye stucked on one and I immediately saved it. Still checking for other designs, I was called to the attention of my pot by the ticking sound made. I immediately opened the pot and got my finger burnt. I forgot to wear the glove.
Fast forward to my first day at work, I was still being introduced to the system and I hates the fact that they needed to handle me like I was a kind of novice. I got a call from the Head manager to be summoned in his office immediately. Soon I was there and he asked how it has been so far. I smiled and answered him with great measure of positivity. He nodded satisfactorily and said there was a mistake in my call up letter. I began to increase my heartbeat beyond normal. Under the fully blown air conditioning system, I was sweating profusely.

"What could have possibly gone wrong in that letter?" I thought as I read every expression on him.

"Please don't let all my saved plans crumble and please do me a favor. Be lenient when you want to utter your first word of sorry speech". I begged in my head.




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DESIRES THE WEEKEND - EPISODE 6

“Yes tattoo or isn’t that one? Just by your right upper arm there”. I pointed in reference. She quipped and said it’s not a tattoo. I wouldn’t back down on my inquisitive behavior and when she finally opened up, I got the shock of my life.

This young girl or better still a lady has been in total devastation and nowhere to run to or turn to. She’s been in total downcast. She narrates that she’s always been maltreated by her step father. Step father? I began to imagine how deep that would be. I have heard stories of maltreatment from step mothers. But which is step father? As strange as it was to me, it was absolutely true to the core. Amidst tears she narrated how her father died simply because of her mum’s negligence.

Lola was at work usually but this time on night duty. She was just like the bread winner of the family because her mum cared less about anyone. She would always go out at night and return in the morning. Where she goes, no one was aware of. But by the time she’s back, she’s trenched with alcohol smell. Neither did anyone knew she was having an extra marital affair and engaging in adultery. That was so sad to hear.
Her mum taking advantage of her father’s meekness and gentleness, would always talk back at him and practiced all manners of disrespect to him. All these accumulated and resulted to him having high blood pressure. On that fateful day, her mum had gone out usually. But before she left, she had locked the door forgetting the poor man who had high blood pressure accompanied with asthma would need his inhaler. He had suffered enough I guess. Immediately after observing her forty days of mourning, she moved in her man friend who obviously according to her explanation was nothing to write home about as being a man. His habits were total zero. His attitude is on a negative scale. His respect for women and younger women was out of this planet. Lola wondered how her mum coped daily with this monstrous creature. Having heard her story, I prayed in me never to come across such men. Why would I even come across them when I knew what I wanted. That definitely is a no go area for me. I didn’t know when I joined in her tears as she narrated how the step father abused her and claimed if she didn’t sleep with him, he would rape her. Ever since that statement, she would always sneak out of the house. Being the drunk type of person, he would be asleep and before he wakes from his slumber, she would have been far from anywhere near the house. Sometimes hanging around but most times always in the hospital despite when not on duty.

Her scream woke her tired mum and found out her supposed husband wasn’t by her side on the bed. This made her to jump up with great force and follow the scream to see what was happening. Lola was ironing getting prepared for work when he moved closer to her and started whispering unpleasant words in her ears. He stood firmly behind her despite her threats of using the iron on him if he moved any closer than she can handle. Already she was in no place to out match him but she thought with her hot iron she was a bit safe. On getting to the scene, she looked at her daughter and also at her man friend. “Whoa” she said in total dismay. With shock she asked what happened and before Lola could open her mouth to narrate her grief, her oppressor had said Lola was always asking him for money and in his rejection she offered him her body which he forcefully rejected by having no option than to use the iron in his defense. Whoever she believed was left to her as Lola was left alone to carry the scar all around for all she cared.

I was by her side talking to her and also listening to what she had bottled up not until midnight hour. Only the sound from the TV was audibly heard. I told her to stay till later in the afternoon when she had duty the following day. I really don’t know her so I cannot have guaranteed her to spend few days or more with me. And doing that, I could be sued for harboring or maybe trying to traffic her. That's to what extent her mother can take issues to. However, I made sure I gave her my contact and assured her to making sure she calls me whenever she is in dire need of anything. Even if it’s an advice when she’s at a crossed road.

I am the type of person who have total trust in someone too easily and no matter how hurt I get or number of times my trust gets betrayed, I still have some little soft spot for the person. Despite her deep and touching stories, I was still on the look out for her. I must have slept deeply for me not to know when she removed my drip and replaced it with another. This was past nine in the morning. I woke up suddenly and noticed my hand was a bit different. I asked her what happened and she said it was time for another drip seeing the one there was finished. I thanked her well and dragged my feet up stairs and when I peeped through my window, I saw the little blanket I gave her to shield herself from the AC was spread out with drops of water touching the floor in sequence.

I called her when I got downstairs and I asked her if she had washed it and replied yes. She claimed she asked from my gatekeeper if he could spare her soap to wash it. I was a little confident in her as a person and she gained a hem of my trust that moment.


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