Do you even think of the things you do before doing them? At what time have you made a choice without having any idea of what it will be like?
You've ever been to the car gallery or even sight a car without having an idea of its maintenance? If your answer is NO then why should you fall for anything that comes your way? If you don't know what you want, everything will seem too perfect for you. And then it will be too late to relaise that.
You're too good to be harmed. You're too blessed to be stressed. If you're not happy with yourself and surroundings, anything that comes your way will piss you off. The most importamt thing is knowing who you really are. You can't please everybody neither can you displease yourself too. People will always talk. Take jabs at you and all. Its a good thing to listen but only act on the ones that are very meaningful to you.
The best way to shut critics up is to smile all through. Let your actions be valid. Let them always see you happy irrespective of what you might be going through.
Let me quickly link this up with relationships.
I once had a friend who says YES to any guy that comes her way. She's always gushing at the beginning and finds herself to blame later on. She came to me and was very sad. I sensed it and asked her what the problem was. She narrated the history and I asked her one simple question "Do you know yourself?" She looked me straight into the eye and I asked her the same question.
She couldn't put words together as she asked what I meant by that. What are your priorities? What's your mandate? What are your goals? These are questions we can't hide from every day. Every single second that tick past the minutes into hours.
You see, if you don't know where you're going, every place will be your bus stop. Before you fall in love, what are the things you expect? What situations will you find yourself in that you can't withstand? What's your temperament? Have you achieved a lot before doing that? Or you're still achieving?
Relationship is a place where you learn. There are two things involved. It's either you graduate or you drop out. When you drop is that time you know you can't go on with that person. Relationship is where you dig all the "diggables". Don't spare any past. Don't ever assume it will be okay when the vison is so clear that it won't! Don't get too attached until you feel the same. Is there any attitude you can't tolerate? Have you made it clear to your partner?
How do you graduate? When everything seems so cool and all, the next phase is marriage. You can only graduate through prayers. Without prayers, you might not know if your partner is a "wolf in sheep cloth".
The problem with us is that we always assume. Assumptions are like hypothesis. You aren't sure and that's when the statement "if" will always come in. You think because he's a good guy doesn't mean he will be good in marriage. How often does he get angry? Have you tested his temperament? Whenever he's angry what's his next action? These are things you need to look out before you say you want to settle down. Everything that looks too good is more disastrous.
Every good thing has a bad side.
The problem with my friend was "REBOUND"
After a break up? You're meant to take a very good break and analyse what happened to the failed relationship? Why it didn't work out. And if you find answers, your next question is what should you have done to have prevented it from happening.
She was too blind to see it that way. She felt the only way she could go past the break up is to get another guy to forget her previous guy. If you do that, there are many things involved.
Come with me to the next chapter in few hours.