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Friday, 5 February 2016

Don't Be Confused - Know Your Wants From Your Needs


Hear me, please don't get me wrong just like I received a mail quite not long. I made it so clear in my previous post that not all rebound relationships fail. Why they don't fail is left to how well you've planned yourself. How well you know yourself. It won't fail beacuse you finally found the right person. Some relationships makes one stronger and kick you into the right one. Anyways I was able to reply the mail so well.

If you've recently broken up and your ex is already in a new relationship, what you need to do is study the situation very carefully.

Why and how did you break up?

How did you handle the post break up period?

How soon after your break up did your ex enter a new relationship?

Is the new man/woman someone your ex has been interested in or casually seeing for months or someone who seemed to have just appeared from nowhere?

Is the new relationship struggling?

Is your ex spending more time and effort staying in contact with you than nurturing the new relationship?

Can you find answers to thsoe questions genuinely? Your answers determine if you're in a rebound and most importantly, if you still care so much about the person and you could possibly work things out for the better.
If it is indeed a rebound relationship, consider buying you time to improve yourself and be better positioned to offer your ex a different improved relationship. At the end, it's not the end of a rebound relationship that will make an ex who still has feelings for you to come back to you. It's the value and attractiveness of what you offer.

But if there are all signs that your ex has indeed moved on from you and happy with the new relationship, then it's time for you to also move on. I will say again. NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS AFTER A BREAKUP ARE REBOUND RELATIONSHIP What I'm saying is, you need to KNOW YOURSELF SO WELL AND KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE ENTERING A NEW RELATIONSHIP. YOU DON'T WANT TO INFLICT MORE PAIN ON YOURSELF DO YOU?
Don't confuse your wants with your needs.

I would have love to share a personal relationship of someone who actually was in a rebound with me. I quickly found out and made it very clear at the early stage of the relationship. I was able to quickly detec because I know what I want. My wants were not aligned with my needs and I just had to let her know quickly.

Actually I never asked her out but to her I was her boyfriend. And it dawned on me when she said I'm not even behaving like a boyfriend to her at all. I was shocked. Maybe on a very good day I would share that experience.

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